Season of Discontent

I believe in God, and that God rules the universe with logic and order.

However...

Something went wrong when He set the timing for Springtime in the West.
Spring is a season of chaos and upheaval here. There is no norm for Spring, because no two years are ever alike. It can be anything from HOT and dry, to freezing cold... and there are times that it does all of that within the same week!

Planting gardens here is a bit like playing Russian roulette.
Seedling survival rate is very low. The only thing that's certain here, is that come the end of May, *BAM!* It's HOT and miserable until the end of September.

I've been contemplating work in the garden - I have some perennials that I have grown tired of, and want to dig them out and change things up.
I wanted to do it before they started greening up so I would feel less like a murderer - but it has been snowing non stop this whole month, and now it's too late for that.

We're all experiencing a little spring madness too - tempers are short and patience is low. We all need to get out and find some sunshine before somebody gets hurt!

This weekend is my daughter's birthday, and all she wants is a trip to the desert.
I want that too, but I'm not sure the budget will allow it.
(We're saving for a trip to Seattle next month.) ...If we survive that long!
We'll just have to see...

Speaking of herbicide - some friends of hubby's came and chopped down that huge ugly tree in our back yard on Saturday. Old Mr. Willow has been an eyesore for years, not to mention one of the dirtiest trees on the lot.
It's dropping something all year long - leaves, crooked twigs, and every time the wind blows, it looses a branch or two.

Before: (Believe it or not, this was just last week!)



After: (They'll be back for the rest of it later - it burned up both of their chain saws!)

We've had the trampoline under it for years, and the shade is nice, but the tramp is always so full of so much debris, that it takes half the day to clean it out before it can be used.

All that's gone now, and it has really opened up the view from the back yard.
We'll be able to watch the sunsets from the window again, and as hubby's friend said; we can also spy on the neighbors. (As if we wanted to...)

That goes both ways, however - no more putting the dog out in my nightie!

And speaking of the dog...

He's been causing a lot of drama around here again.
He must have fallen off the couch or something while I was at work one day, (or maybe his arthritis is just acting up from all this lovely weather we've been having,) but he has been limping and whining to beat the band all week.

The girls have coddled, medicated and babied him mercilessly all weekend.
I'm afraid there will be no living with him when the week starts again.
I'm a little suspicious that he's been milking it and playing them for all he's worth.
I'm not going to do that - he's just going to have to deal with it. (ha ha)

I had a fun day with the gran-girlies last Sunday making paper projects... But yesterday I found that there is a down side to teaching the girls to use my tools.
They were over again last night, and when I went down to my craft room, I found that one of them had slipped in there (form the evidence left behind, I'm suspecting Tornado T'Ellie) and chopped up a bunch of cards that I had been working on.

Exhibit A:


...I was almost finished with that one, but, oh well.

She's the youngest, and a bit ADD - she got bored and left within minutes while the other girls and I worked last week. Who knew that she was even paying attention to how things like the cutter worked? The cards were cut so cleanly down the middle fold - if I weren't so bugged at her, I would say nice job! LOL

It's a new week, and the sun is actually shining today.
I would venture out in the garden, but I've got to make that 2 hour drive to get baby back to school again.

*Sigh*

Two more weeks and she's done until Summer is over...
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Scrapped...

It's official - the insurance adjuster inspected grandma's car, and it is TOTALED.

Hubby feels so bad that it was grandma's car that we wrecked.
He paid a visit to the cemetery and had a chat with grandpa about it.
Grandpa was always so attached to his cars.

They offered grandma a settlement, which she received gladly.
She can no longer drive the car, so she really had no use for it.
Now she can afford to make some needed repairs to her house.

I wouldn't call that a happy ending, but I guess that's as close as you can get under the circumstances.

Meanwhile, hubby and I are experiencing a few residual effects - nothing major, just little aches & pains, anxiety, and hubby has been waking up with panic attacks.
Poor man, I am just so thankful that we both walked away from the thing.
I swear the spelling lobe of my brain was damaged though - it doesn't work anymore! Ha ha.

Anyway, life goes on here (knock wood.)

I got out of the house today, and went to my favorite bookstore.
It's my escape of choice these days. I wander around and gather a stack of magazines, find a comfy chair in a quiet corner, and just enjoy.

Today's search was for something that would inspire my creative side.
The thing has laid dormant for so long, I fear it is in permanent recession,
but I keep hoping that if I nurture and coddle it a bit, it may just return from the dead. ...One can hope, anyway. If I can't revive it, I can at least feed it a bit.

I came home with a couple of good ones; International Artists, WAAAAAAAY beyond my skills, but so amazing to look at!




...And Somerset's Artists' Cafe. This one is a little more funky and different, but interesting and ...fun!












Monday we took the little grilies to see the movie Hop.
It was a little cheesey for me, but the girls loved it (and so did grandpa.)
I really like James Marsden, but this movie kind of ruined that for me. :-(

Another weekend coming up.
The in-laws have a camping trip planned, but it is supposed to rain and snow all weekend. Granny doesn't want to play.
I would just as soon stay snug in my little bungalow and curl up with a book, thank you very much.

Hubby isn't too thrilled either, for once.
For one thing, our truck has to have some major repairs to even be able to pull the trailer, (a major expense,) so we'll have to see how that goes.

Not much else going on - got a sister's weekend coming up at the end of the month. Those are always so much fun!
Looking forward to it!

Hoping the weather's a little better by then...
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April's Fool

Where do I begin?

Had a most eventful weekend, but not entirely in a good way.

Thursday night, hubby flew home - after pretty much the whole month without him being here, I was SO glad to see him!
He had the day off on Friday, so we went out to breakfast to our favorite little place in the tiny neighboring town, then we came home and he fixed a few things around the house that have been giving me trouble.

About then, we decided it was time for a Pepsi, so we climbed back in the car to go for a drive. We got our drinks at the Chevron down the street, then drove past his parents house, and where his aunt and uncle live.
Neither of them are doing well, and he was contemplating visits (none of them were home.) So, we came full circle and headed home.

Two blocks from house, we went through the intersection and were broadsided by a big pickup truck!

The scary thing is that I saw him bearing down on us, but it never occurred to me that he wouldn't stop. By the time I could tell that impact was inevitable, it was too late to react.
This town is so crazy, there are so few street signs. Unless you're from here, you don't know which streets are through streets and which are not - but then, the guy was from here. He should have known better.

Anyway, he hit us so hard that he spun us 90% so that we were headed back the direction that we came from.
It took a while for the police to arrive, long enough for us to get out and assess the damage to the car and to ourselves.
We were both wearing our seat-belts, so just a few minor bumps and bruises... but I got the full impact of the two 32 ounce drinks!

The police finally arrived and checked us out - (the truck driver was cited for failure to yield on the through street.) Hubby had bonked his head, and was a little dizzy. The first cop on the scene came over and asked if we were ok, and we assured him that we were - then he told us an ambulance had been dispatched.
We both protested, but he basically said; too bad, it's coming anyway.

Neither of us had our cell phones with us, so we had to borrow one from some passers by. Wayland called his brother to come give us a ride home. It's always great to have him there in an emergency, because he knows every cop EMT and fireman in town.

The ambulance arrived, and they checked Wayland's vitals and looked for signs of concussion (which I was glad of, I was worried,) and wouldn't you know it - the fire truck came right behind them.
(Small town, not many opportunities for them to play?)

One of the firemen came over and checked underneath the car to make sure the axle hadn't been broken, so it could be towed. (The rear driver's side tire took the main impact.)
He was a jolly fellow, who then made sure we were all OK. After assessing the situation, he asked if there was anything else he could do for us. I was standing there drenched in Pepsi - so I told him he could hose me off if he wanted to...

He laughed and said he could, but it would blow me down the street.

Saturday, we both stayed pretty close to home. In a somber mood this morning, because I finally realized how close I came to losing it all. The truck missed hubby by only a few feet.

He had to call his mother and break the news to her that it was her car that got smashed. (She's legally blind and isn't supposed to drive, so he's been keeping it here to remove the temptation.)
It's Conference weekend here, so we listened to both sessions, then Wayland had to go to work.

Sunday, we woke up to 6 inches of SNOW!


What a nasty surprise. We didn't totally let it ruin our day though - Jeff, Jennie and the girls came over after the first session of conference, and we barbecued (indoors) and watched the second session together.
I enjoy conference weekend. Not just for the break from the usual Sunday routine, but for the thoughts and messages that so gently urge and remind us to be a little better - try a little harder... Who doesn't need that?

I had the two older girls doing crafts while we listened. We made squash books, and some little necklaces. The girls both did well, but it was a lot more work than I anticipated.

Granny's tired.

I retired early tonight, but wakened after disturbing dreams.
(A combination of the book I just read, and my current state in life.)
In the dream, I escaped from a nursing home and went looking for all the friends listed in my computer's address book.

What I found instead that all those 'friends' were just myself using different user names, and that there really wasn't anyone else out there.

What a strange feeling.

It's 3:30 now and I'm not so much sleepy as I am COLD, so I guess I'll try the bed thing again...

More running around tomorrow - must be alert.
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Zoom Zoom

Just a few days left of recovery time, and how do I spend it?
...Burning up the road between here and Ephraim.

Jenny was dropped off on our doorstep late Sunday night, so I ran her back on Monday.
Tuesday, she left a desperate message on my phone - fashion 9-1-1.
(She had to go pick up a bridesmaid dress that was on hold for her.)

She was sick, tired and emotionally spent when she got home, so she spent the night... Which means I'll make another trip today.

On the up-side, I did finally get to listen to my new CD. (I've been saving it for the drive time.) And it's awesome.
What I love about my lil' Rascals is that every song is good - you don't just get a couple of good ones with the rest that are just filler like most artists.

Anyway, it's Wednesday now, and I'm just waiting for the little darling to get dressed - then we'll be heading down the road again.
Puppy has had enough rides to last him for a good long while.

Yesterday morning, I rushed out to get a copy of Disney's Tangled.
I never did get to see it in the theater, and I have been dying to, so that was the first thing I did when I woke up.

Jenny had to have her own copy, so she picked one up last night and we all watched it together.

When it was over, Melissa asked; "is that how the real story went?"

It's been so long since I read the original Rapunzel, that I had no idea.
So I Googled it, (isn't google amazing?) and read it.

No, it's a pretty far stretch from the Disney version.
(Those Grimm brothers were a strange lot.)

All the funny little side stories that the Disney folks always add - like the little toothless drunk who they dress up as cupid - and the mime.
He only got a couple of minutes, but definite show stealer.
Wouldn't it be fun to sit in on one of their brainstorming meetings?


I've been anxious to try out my new washer and drier - since I didn't get any laundry done last week. Unfortunately, there's a problem with the installation.
The tap leaks now, whether the washer is running or not - so now the laundry room is flooded.

*Sigh* it's always something... (Why???)

I'm giving up on chores till hubby gets home.

My neighbor brought me a book from the library - (a nice gesture, but still it makes me feel silly because I really can do those things for myself.)
Anyway, I haven't even had a chance to crack it open yet.

I'm just going to read the rest of the day.
.

Morphling

It's been such a strange day.

After staying in for two weeks, it's kind of hard to keep track of what day it is.
I woke up today thinking it was Sunday, and that I was late for church (which is kind of ridiculous anyway, because church doesn't start until one.)

I walked into the living room to find hubby all upset because he had just got off the phone with his cousin, who had given him some bad news about her mother. (She's being sent home from the hospital today with an undefinable and aggressive form of cancer - not much hope.)
His brother arrived shortly thereafter in his big dark "hovercraft" (you feel it coming before you see it.) And they went to visit her. I'm glad he got to do that before he leaves town - they're only giving her a couple of weeks.

The new washer and drier we purchased the other day were supposed to be delivered today, within a 3 hour block, so we had to put everything on hold and stay close to home, while we waited...

I get edgy under those circumstances, so I puttered around the house and did a lot of chores that have been irritating me all month (because they haven't been getting done.) I'm finally feeling like I can handle a few things, so I tackled them - with a vengeance. It felt good.

My son came to help remove the old dryer, releasing a load of coins all over the floor that had been collecting inside. He laughed and said it was like being in Vegas - they just kept coming! $11.00 in quarters alone. Too funny.
Our old machines were older than some of our children, so I guess they've been storing up for a while.

There were two weddings we were supposed to attend today, but we didn't make it to either, because we were still waiting...

They finally arrived around 4:30, but it was dinnertime before they left.
I was worn out by then, (as was hubby) so we went to lay down for a bit.
I zonked, but he got up and left with the TV still running. Some HGTV show about a couple trying to buy a vacation home in Costa Rica.
I have been reading Mockingjay all day, and somehow the two things kept getting mixed up in my mind as I slept - I swear the people were trying to find a vacation home that could ward off enemy attacks.

Speaking of books, I had a call from a neighbor today - my choir leader who is also the head of our book club. She asked how I was doing, then informed me that the book club had got together to purchase one of the books from my Good Reads list for my recovery.
When she told me which one, I had to laugh because it's the same one I just ordered from Amazon a couple of days ago. I couldn't bring myself to tell her, because it was such a sweet gesture, but - yeah. I'll have 2 copies now if anyone needs one.

I've been trying to expand my reading the last few months - branching into different genres and authors I've never read, but after a slew of dark and violent tales, I'm so done with them and ready to go back to my safe cozy fluff reads!
...There are horror fans in this household, but I'm not one of them!

Just when I thought things were quieting down (around 11 P.M.) someone pounded at the door. There stood my youngest with her pillow and blankie! We weren't expecting her tonight, but she dropped in just the same. Yay!

It's 3 A.M. already. I've been trying to sleep, but sleep is not to be had.
(I guess when you stay in bed until 10 and have 4 hour naps, that shouldn't come as a surprise.)
...It's going to take me a while to get back to a normal schedule.

Back to work this week - ready or not.
.

*Morphling is a random word I pulled from the book - it refers to a disorienting pain medication - it just seemed appropriate. LOL

*Interesting and Humorus Title*

(Sorry, but I'm all out of them!) ha

Only a few days left of R&R, and then it's back to life as usual.

No more staying in bed until 10 A.M., no more schlepping around in my jammies all day. Planning to swing by work this weekend and see if/when I'm back on the schedule - that is, assuming that I still have a job...

Hubby was supposed to be done traveling now, but they have requested that he come back again next week. He's tired of traveling (as am I,) but in a way he doesn't mind it, because they treat him so much better out there than they do here.

The two of us went out to lunch yesterday, and ordered a new washer and dryer. The old dryer has to be run 3 or 4 times per load to get it completely dry - so it takes days to get the laundry done when we only have about 4 loads per week.
Crazy (not to mention expensive) so - it's out of here.

I finished my book Tuesday, and the library is out of the next one, so I'm going a little nuts today... Jenny has the one I need, but she's an hour away (and not due home for a couple of days,) so I'm going to have to be patient.
(Not my best thing!)

It's just as well, there are other things that should be done (albeit not fun ones.)
Just have to suck it up and keep busy.

It's officially Spring now by the calendar - we can only hope Mother Nature complies...
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Strange Things

Another quiet week, but not completely uneventful.

A few days ago, when Melissa stepped out to go to work, she found the hot tub uncovered and running. Apparently we had tub hoppers during the night.

Strange because you can't see it at all from the street or in any direction.
The only people who even know it's there are the really close neighbors, and none of them are the type to do a thing like that.

Weird.

Haunted by dreams again. A new one the other night that left residual feelings that I still can't really put my finger on.

I think I've figured out where it came from though -
I've been thinking a lot about the group I "hang out" with on facebook.
People from high school and my old home town. The funny thing is that these people are folks who never even noticed me back in the day. Not my group at all.

I've got a reunion year coming up next year, and I've been debating the thoughts of whether I'll go or not. (I've never been to one yet.)
I just don't know. I miss the old days, but the people who would be there were never a part of it. I don't really see the point in going.

...But then there was the part about painting my car a hideous pink - and my purse getting stolen. My purse always gets stolen. What the heck is that about?

I've been minding my P's & Q's on the road to recovery, but I took a wrong turn the other day and ended up in a ditch.
I hurt myself (in the tub, no less) and ended up swollen and looking even more ugly than before. ( If that's possible.)

I've been cussing myself ever since, and hardly getting out of bed for penance.
I'm starting to worry about getting my strength back in time to go back to work next week.

Hubby is home now, and won't ever be flying to that place again.
I'm so glad to have him home. We've gotten along ok the last three weeks, but it's just a more secure feeling having him around. He's a rock when things go wrong, (...and I'm like a chicken with a fox in the yard.)

He's got his Sunday music on this morning - nice, although it's cranked up a little higher than need be.

It feels rather peaceful - he with his stack of bills on the floor, and me with the laptop and the dog asleep on my feet.

For the time being, all is well.
.

Shhhhhh......

It's so quiet around here this week. Like tomb quiet.
One forgets one is deaf when there's nothing to hear. Ha ha.

Hubby had to go out of town again, so it's just me & the dog during the day, sitting around, listening to our arteries harden.

I can do that when hubby's away, and not feel guilty. When he's around, he blusters and billows about like a tornado - the man can not sit still.
It makes me feel like such a useless lazy creature. It's probably a good thing that he's not here, because I intend to follow doctor's orders.

My neighbor has been taking such good care of me this week. She pops over at least once a day bringing me treats, things to read - or just to say "Hi."

I sure do appreciate it. Good neighbors are such a blessing!

Went in for my check up today. The Doctor removed the bandage from my throat, and - Yuck. I look scarier than the spooks on my daughters ghost flicks.

It's kind of fun to go to the store and freak people out. :P Makes me want to lean in close and whisper to them - "pirates."

The Doctor had the pathology report already - all clear. Yay!

I only hope that some day my energy comes back. I had all kinds of things I wanted to do with this time off, but I just don't feel up to much at all.

Anyway, just checking in - it's been a while.

Happy St. Patty's Day!

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I'm Back

I survived the surgery.

I was a little surprised when I woke up, to find that it was 5 hours later. I didn't think it was going to take that long.

They said everything went really well, although I look and feel a bit like Nearly Headless Nick (Harry Potter.) They didn't have to take all of my thyroid - I still have a bit of it left, for what that's worth.

I was looking forward to some R&R, but hubby is home and tearing the house apart.
He moved the family room around last night, and today he's in my craft room.
Good grief, how am I supposed to relax with all that going on?

I keep telling him just to go back to work, but he won't listen... LOL

The girls have been watching the earthquake/tsunami coverage 24-7.
It's a bit overwhelming.

I'm going to hole up in my room with a book.
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Tossing and Turning

Sleep has been evading me this week.

I'm not so much nervous about the surgery - it's all the little things I wanted to get done before hand. It's had me feeling anxious.

I only had one day to accomplish everything, and I'm going to miss the mark, but I did make some progress.

My paycheck was a disappointment this week too, I had to whittle down the expectations - a LOT, but it's all good...

Every time hubby leaves town, it seems that something breaks down.
Last week it was the washing machine and the internet/cable (no computer, no TV.)
This week, the heat in the basement quit. It's freezy down here - have to put on a coat to type. Brrrrr....

Speaking of cold - it snowed again this week. I can't complain - it's all my fault.
I mentioned the "S" word (Spring) way too soon, and jinxed things. Mother Nature is an evil being - she likes to play mind games on us in this region. And the so-called Spring season is her weapon of choice.

My little buddy is home for spring break, so we went on a little shopping spree on Monday. (Gathering up books & magazines to fill the recovery time.)

My mother and I used to take those little trips all the time, and she always took me to the same little greasy spoon for lunch. (It's a nice one, as junk food goes, clean, good service, etc.)

I took Jenny there one day when she was much younger, and told her about it - since then, she always asks to go there. It's kind of nice to have that little mother-daughter tradition carry over to the next generation. (And they have sweet potato fries! Yum.)

Today is a work day - and I work a little later than usual. Hubby is supposed to fly home tonight - not sure how we'll get him home from the airport. We are short a car this week - and mine is running on fumes.

We'll have to see how that one goes...
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Wishes and Fishes

It's Sunday again, and hubby is in the sky as we speak - flying back to the place of people and trees.

They offered him a job while he was out there last week, but like he said, if it were just he and I then, maybe, but that is just too far away to be from all of our kids. The grand kids would grow up without us, and that is unthinkable.

He would have stayed out there over the weekend, but he had to come back to lay off half his crew and to work his other job.

The lay-offs were not a surprise - they all knew it was coming. Still, it had to have been a sad parting - some of those people have been with the company since its beginnings.
...But, it seems, that all good things must end.

I was whining to my daughter last night about being the only unsuccessful member of my family. (Poor girl, she's stuck with me a lot lately.)
She said "Excuse me? ...and in what way is so-and-so successful?" Going through and naming names.

Okay, so maybe my life doesn't totally suck, but at least all those others have been able to be self supporting financially. All I can manage at present is 8 hours a week at minimum wage. Not exactly my hey-day.

I was laying in bed thinking about that this morning. At the height of my earning power, I still fell short of that.
I was working in the craft store by day, and painting samples for a tole painting publisher by night.

I loved that job. I think that's the only time I ever felt like I was really good at something. The hours were killer, but I loved what I was doing so it didn't matter.

The market fell through on that job, just as the scrapbooking one did.
That's the problem with working in a hobby related field - they phase in and phase out. Nothing is forever.

So here I sit. Having a mid-life crisis. Ha!

The sewing hobby is past tense for me, so there is no passion for my current job - and I refuse to even get into the jewelry thing...
There is no room in my house for another hobby.

Hence, I read.

I've been bullying hubby about being here for my surgery, but if you want to know the honest truth - I'm ok with him not being here. I won't be able to talk much, so I really don't want a lot of people hanging around making me feel like a total bore.

Last time I had surgery, the ladies in the ward brought in meals for almost a month. Every time they came over, they'd ask hubby how I was doing, and he'd make me come out to say 'hi'.
I felt like a freak in a side show. Ring the bell to see the gorilla and all that.
It was really uncomfortable.

All I need are some books, videos, a few small projects, and some pretty things to look at to cheer me and I'll be fine.

As you can see from my new header - spring is trying to make an
appearance here.

The majority of the snow has gone away, and what remains is dirty and gross and blends in with the ugly dead landscape.

But my tulips and hyacinths are poking their way through the debris, and soon (we can only hope) things will start greening up, and we'll have dashes of color here and there.

Life will go on, as it always does.

Ain't that grand?
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Thursday the Third

Another week fizzles to a close...

Hubby left early Monday morning, and I planned on just having quiet time at home - came down to check my email and found that my internet was gone.

I had a list of things I needed to do - emails to send, things to look up, lists to make... All filed under "no can do" without the computer. Frustrating.

I just finished all the books I've been reading, and the library didn't have any of the others on my list - really wasn't in the mood for housework, or artsy crafts - so I did a few errands.

I took the weekend movie rentals back to the rental place, and found signs plastered all over the windows "No longer renting - liquidation sale."
Are you kidding me? The only cheap entertainment in town?
Shocker.

I felt like my day was spinning it's way down the drain, so I decided to just get out of town.

Drove up to Borders and spent almost the entire day just looking at books and magazines. I shopped until way past lunch, gathered up a dozen or so treasures, talked myself out of them and put them all back...
(that's how I shop - don't laugh.)

I was starting to get shaky from hunger, so I made one quick purchase, and went in search of lunch - there had to be something there at the Riverwoods, right?
I drove around and looked - it was either Subway (Ick) or something exotic or expensive - nope, nothing here.

I drove through town - same thing. I did that all the way back to the home town, looking at options, then opting to find something closer to home.

I had decided just to grab a sandwich at Arby's, that I could just pick up and take home with me, but when I got to where it was, I decided why waste the money - I'll just go home and have toast & jam.
I'm not usually this cheap, but I'm living on hubby's savings this week, and feeling guilty about squandering.

The laugh was on me when I opened my big purchase, Country Living.
I browsed through the pages, thinking I had made the best choice, but when I got to the end my reaction was why did I choose this one again?

As far as I could tell, it was for just one picture that I saw and fell in love with - a huge full page spread of a flower. (It intrigued me, I want to try and paint it someday - there's often an imaginary painting involved...)

There had been 2 issues of Country Living on the magazine rack, and I wondered about that, but as I cruised the ads in the back, it became apparent - this one was the UK version. Everything there was priced in pounds.

...Anyway, that's what I get for making choices when all the sugar has drained from my brain.

Melissa laughed at me when I told her what I had done - she said "A Brittish magazine? How can you read it, it's in a foreign language!"

She's so silly. And thank goodness for her. She's my rock when hubby's away. I never worry when she's here - she reeks with awesomeness.
Her purse, car and room for that matter, are like Mary Poppins' bag. If you need it -(or not) - it's in there.

She worked as a night guard at a detention center while in college, so she is trained in street fighting. She knows what to do in any situation - earthquake, hurricane, volcano, zombie apocalypse - you name it, she knows how to survive it.



She also knows how best to comfort and entertain her mother. The other day, we were watching "When in Rome," and a thought came out of the blue - "I don't have any Italian fairy tales. (I've sort of been collecting them from other countries.) She held up a finger and went to her room - bringing back a HUGE volume of them. I should have known. ^.^
All that, and she's beautiful too... How lucky can I get?

I woke up this morning to see branches all over the lawn - the wind must have been crazy last night. Funny, I didn't hear a thing!

Today's a work day, and hubby flies home tonight.
I was so bummed when I talked to him last night - he said he has to go back next week! They haven't quite caught on to the system yet, and need more guidance.

Feeling heartsick (and a little... angry.) How much does he owe this company who is cutting him loose in a matter of weeks?

I told him that if he's not here for my surgery, not to bother coming back.
That may have been a bit extreme, and of course I didn't mean it - just lashing out after a long year of loneliness and feeling - well, abandoned while he took care of his brother and his dad - it's not my turn yet? Really?

Oy. What are ya gonna do? ...He'll be here, but just barely.

Been checking up on the youngest daily - she seems to be doing okay.
I guess what doesn't kill you does make you stronger. She's a survivor.
Thank goodness.

So thankful for all of them today.

Today would have been my mom's birthday - she would have been 90 something.
Happy Birthday mom - wherever you are. I miss you.

*My sister just reminded me that mom's birthday is the 8th, not the third...
Good grief - I can't believe I got that wrong - how embarrassing >.<
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March One

What a strange and disappointing month February has been.

Kicking it to the curb...


All of us were sick, vacation canceled, work cut backs, and hubby got sent back East by his company ...to train the person who is taking his job away from him.

Not only that, but when he arrived there, he found that his company hadn't pre-paid his room, so he had to max out his card for it, and he hasn't been able to have a meal since this morning.
He had to call his supervisor (from here) and have her wire him some money from petty cash to get him through the week

Niiiiice.

It snowed some more the last two days, and has been so cold, adding to the misery of being stuck at home instead of on vacation in the desert as we had planned. Everyone was able to get it off but hubby, so it was a no-go.
(This is exactly why we Taylor's avoid planning things - they never work out.)
...It's just as well though, it snowed in the desert too. We would have just been stuck in a motel room all weekend driving each other nuts.

My poor baby has had an awful month too - breakup, love triangle, lies, deceit backstabbing and betrayal - and that was only on Wednesday.
I had the hardest time sending her back there after this weekend. I don't know how she'll make it to the end of the semester. She still has to live with the... little darling. *ooozes sarcasm* [former friend and room mate.]

Holy crud.


On the upside - we celebrated my oldest grand daughter's birthday on Sunday.
She turns 9 today.
(We celebrated early because grandpa had to leave today.)
Where did that time go? I still remember so clearly the day she was born.
She's awesome, and a kindred spirit.



Make a Wish...

I saw the throat specialist today, and am scheduled to fall among his team of cut-throats on the tenth. (Thyroid-ectomy)
The lady who scheduled the surgery for me said that she had the same procedure exactly 25 years ago today. She said that she survived it and is still kicking - (and I scanned her neck and couldn't see a scar.)
Maybe it won't be so bad after all...

Doc says the recovery time should only be a week or two.

Anywho - Melissa drove her sister back to school for me tonight, so I sat here alone and watched "Ghost Whisperer" until she got back.
That was probably a bad idea.
Not so much that it scared me - it's just that it's been such a weird week, and the episodes I watched were so gut-wrenching emotional.

Now I'll have to stay up and see something funny so I can go to sleep.

My month in a nutshell - March can only go up from here.

*Knock Wood*
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Not Vacating...

We had plans to get away to the desert sunshine this weekend, but as of yesterday, the plan is off.

Just as well, the weather report says it will be cold this weekend in our destination city. May as well stay here and try to find something fun to do.

I'll be fine, two fresh new books to read, and an unspent paycheck in hand (such as it is.) I'm sure I can manage, but I feel bad for my daughter.
She has had on helluva semester, and could really use a break.

Other crushed plans...

I told hubby earlier that with this being our 35th year together - I demand a trip to Hawaii. After all this time, I think I deserve it! (As does he.)

...But last night I told him that I don't think this is the year for that after all.
He'll be jobless, so how can we justify blowing that much moolah on a trip, when we don't know what's going to happen next?

Stupid though, that's the second time I've blown off Hawaii in this lifetime.
At this rate, I may never get there.

~*~

I'm supposed to meet with the doctor on Monday and give him my decision whether to do surgery or not. The thing is, I still don't know.

I wish I knew if it was something that will make me feel better - or if it's just an unnecessary risk.

Inspiration please - and pronto!

Not much else going on for me - I don't work again until next Wednesday.
Tonight is Big Bang Theory night - at least that's something to look forward to...

Happy Weekend!
.

*Cough*

We've all been sick this week.

All of us - even my daughter who lives an hour away, and my son who is...
3 states away.
Lovely germ hubby brought home for us from work. (Thank you dear.)
The only explanation is that this is a cyber cold - transferable through internet/cell phone connections.

The girls and I had plans to go shopping all day yesterday (due to the holiday weekend,) but when we looked outside and saw the cold drizzly rain, decided that it would be bad for our cold drizzly noses.

We rented movies and cranked up the fireplace instead.

We attended the wedding of a former neighbor/friend on Friday.
Melissa always called him her brother-from-another-mother back in the day.
He was here almost as much as my own son was.

How blessed we have been living in this neighborhood. All of my kids have had at least one good friend like that who fit into our family like one of our own.
...All such great kids too.

Heaven smiled on us in that way.

The reception was so beautiful - it was held in an old Victorian home that has been renovated for this purpose. It was decorated true to the period, and beautifully so.
Their color scheme was Black White, and Red (one of my favorites lately.)
It was so good to see them all, and looking so happy.

~*~

Made a bad decision yesterday - short awful haircut.
I did it on purpose because it's been growing so fast lately. In a week it will be right where I want it - but for the time being.... Yuck.

It's cut back time at my work again. I'm back to one day a week. I really need to start looking with the rest of the family... eighty bucks a month is just ridiculous.

I was so lazy all last week, that my house is looking pretty neglected today. I guess I should be grateful for the time to get caught up. ...And I have a new pattern to make the little girls some skirts (using up all that fabric I still have from last time I worked at the store...)

Going to run back down to Ephraim today - Jenny is getting her patriarchal blessing. Then back home, but that means no big family dinner tonight, won't be back in time.

Lots of reading to do, and plans to make (we're hopefully fleeing the cold next week.)

I will survive.

Hey hey. :-)
.

Stuff.

I had such a lazy day yesterday.

Those days are really hard on the self esteem. Leaves me feeling like a useless lump of humanity. Especially when hubby is sick and has to work the two jobs anyway, and the kids are all so busy.

There's just no excuse for me, just sitting here - wasting time.
(But no one around who cares.)
What a strange phase of life this is.

I've had some rather enjoyable chats with my youngest this week. She's finally getting her head into a good place, at least for now. I'm so proud of her.

We talked about weekend plans, hanging out at bookstores and such. She mentioned that would be a fun career for her - owning a book store.
We kind of went off on that, because I would love that too!
I could work for my baby, driving loads of books around ...in my wheelchair cart, reading stories to kiddies on the weekend. (But then, I would probably scare them LOL)

As always, when I barge in on the kids' dreams, there's something in it for me - a little corner where I can sell my favorite things - pretty paper, pretty ribbons & lace, gems & such...

I love that my kids have goals and are reaching and achieving them. I never did figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up... and that ship has sailed!

I enjoy my job, I really do. It's satisfying feeling that I can help people - even if it's something as simple as finding the right sewing machine needle.
(Beats sitting here feeling useless!)

...But I can't see myself doing this forever. It's so physically demanding.
(It is, I tell you - all that lifting and hauling and reaching and folding...)
I only work 4 hour shifts, but come home feeling like I've worked 8.
...And right now, the future is scaring me.

I thought by the time I reached this age, I would be looking forward to retirement and freedom, but instead - I'm looking at going full time while the rest of the family searches for work.

I keep thinking of that line from the Sandra Bullock movie that goes; "Life doesn't always turn out the way you plan."

Understatement.

I got a postcard from an old friend this week. Highlight. of. my. week.

She said that she saw the picture and missed me. Isn't that amazing?
I can't tell you how good it feels to be missed - or even noticed. for that matter. Ha
Having a rendezvous with her online on Monday - can't wait!

Speaking of work - I have to go there.

Have a Happy Holiday Weekend!
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Bad Moon Rising...

Definitely some strange vibes in the air today.

I finished reading Hunger Games last night.
Let me first say that I am a bit... overly sensitive to all things scary, gory, or intense. I am not the one who screens the films and books in this house - the kids have to do that for me.
(Mom - you will NOT like this one, and mom, that's NOT your kind of movie.)

So, when I finished this one, I told my daughter that I wasn't sure how I was going to sleep, or if I would ever get over it!
But Melissa knows how to handle me - she took me downstairs and got me watching a hilarious TV show (Idiot Abroad,) and by the time it was over, I'd forgotten to be freaked out anymore.

I did have to call my younger daughter this morning and talk to her about it though. There are two more books in the series, and I had to know what happens, but like I told her - I don't think I'll be reading them.
I can't handle the stress! LOL

While I was talking to her, she asked me if I had seen her school on the news last night. She said that there had been a gas leak in the Science building.
I asked her what kind of leak, and she said; "I don't know - something to do with the cadavers."

Yeeeaach! I told her that was enough - I didn't want to hear any more!
She said that a couple of kids had just been walking by the building, and were taken and quarantined, the levels of Co2 were so high.
?????

Anyway, the day has sort of deteriorated from there - so many things went wrong at work today, 4:00 couldn't come fast enough. Just so frustrating.

The wind has kicked up tonight, and the power's been out once already, so batten down the hatches - it isn't over yet...

You may need this too before the day is over = Idiot Abroad - As for me, I'm going to pull the covers over my head and go to bed.
Hopefully, tomorrow will be better.


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Another one Bites the Dust...

Another Valentines day has come and gone.

We celebrated Love Day Saturday and Sunday, so today was pretty quiet.

Not the year for big showy gestures - we're still licking wounds and healing hearts from last year's losses.
Mostly just being thankful for each other...


It seems that the saying; "Everything old is new again," has been the running theme for me this month.

I've been returning to old pastimes lately - first the painting, and as I mentioned earlier, dragging out the sewing machine after decades of disuse.

Today was another one of those days of living in the past.
I was stuck in the basement doing laundry all day, so I pulled out my "That Girl" DVD's and had a full marathon - reliving the 70's as I fluffed and folded.

I was telling my daughter tonight how funny it is to view it from this side of that decade. I used to think of Donald as cute, charming, and sweetly protective - but now he seems like a surly ornery chauvinist.

Times change.

Still, it was nice to be reminded of the good old days when squeaky clean romance and social convention was the norm (at least for TV.)

Speaking of my daughter - she's been full of all kinds of creative energy lately. Yesterday she baked all day for our Valentines dinner, and today she ordered take-out so she could have the kitchen free to use as a potting shed.

We received a lot of potted plants for Wayland's dad's funeral, and they have been starting to look haggard lately. She re-potted them, giving them all more space to thrive in - and even polished their little leaves.

I swear they look happy tonight!

The smell of potting soil would normally be something alarming coming from the kitchen, but instead, it was like the scent of springtime and of foraging in the garden.
Although it may not be particularly hygienic, a little dirt is good for the soul...

Speaking of growing things - when I visited one of my neighbors the other day, she pointed out that she has hyacinths poking out of her flower beds already. It's the middle of February for gosh sakes!
I haven't seen them come up this early, well, ...forever!

Gives a body hope.

Time marches on...

As I was flipping through my calendar, thinking of possible musical numbers for church, it became more and more evident how quickly time is passing this year.
Hubby and Melissa only have a couple more months left of work before their jobs go away for good.

I haven't really thought about it much, because it seemed so far off (and we had so many other things to worry about) ...but now it's becoming all too near, and it's starting to freak me out a little.

Hubby keeps commenting that he always imagined that at this stage in life, he'd be looking forward to retiring soon - not having to find a new career!

Life never quite turns out like you planned it - (at least if you're a member of our clan!)

Been on a reading binge this month - fished the book club selection early, and have polished another book and a half since then.

Trying to expand my horizons.

'Night all.
.

Zzzzzzz.....

What a busy busy week - applied to annex my frontier village, built an Italian villa, a pink castle, a greenhouse, a church, and a post office, lost the war to a rival mob, and staffed my police force.

...But that was only in my tiny little facebook virtual world - I'm afraid real life hasn't been anywhere near that interesting.

Finished a book, and feeling adrift...
I went to the library with a list of about a dozen titles that I would like to look into next, unfortunately, the one title they did had from my list was already out.

Our library is so pathetic.

Visited a few neighbors yesterday, and learned some happy and some sad news.
One lady has become a grandma for the first time, and was beaming out the wahzoo with the news - and one lady passed on the news that another of our neighbors ...passed on this past week.

...One arrival - one departure. That's life.

I actually pulled out my sewing machine this week. Hasn't been touched in... decades?
Nothing fancy, just some pillow cases, but hey, I can still work the thing!

Got the day off and planning to be as lazy as possible...

Have a good weekend.
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la Dolce Vita

The age old dilemma - do I see the movie first, or read the book?

Sometimes reading the book makes it impossible to like the movie, and vice versa. (Such as The Last Song...Probably would have liked the film, if I hadn't read it first.)

I rented Eat, Pray, Love this past weekend. It was good enough, but I never fully felt like I knew what was going on. I'm reading the book now, and enjoying it so much more.
When most of the dialog is introspection, it's hard to convey that on the screen...

I'm finding so many things that I can identify with. The author's first journey is to Italy. I have always felt the same way about the Italian language as the author describes. (Out of all the languages in the world, it is the most beautiful to the ear.)
I have several movies in my collection that take place in Italy - I watch them over and over, not for the story as much as for the scenery.

Beautiful!

I'm on the section about India now. I thought it would be boring, but I can't read it fast enough. I have my notepad by my side, and I pause every few minutes to jot down quotes that I want to remember.

One such note is where a former Guru chastises people for being inert. (Such a great descriptive word!)

That's what I feel like I've been lately - inert.
I've been finding nothing better to do than sit and play games on Facebook (Facebook is the Devil - the world's greatest time waster.)
When I think of all the hours I spend there, it kind of makes me sick - I could be so much more productive, if I could only figure out what productive thing I want to do...

I love the description of how they spend the New Year - sitting under the stars, chanting it in with all it's joys and problems.
Filing all these things away...

Anyway, when I finish the book, I'm going to have to watch the movie again to see what I missed.

The power has been going off and on tonight, which is strange because it is snowing, but not very much. We've had several storms that have been much worse with no problems whatsoever.

Luckily, dinner was cooked before it went off - we did have to dine by candle light, but at least the vittles weren't raw!

Drove my daughter back to school last night.
That drive that I love so much in the daytime is a whole different beast at night.

I don't like that road at night - it is so dark that I get disoriented, plus the fact that whole stretch of road is a notorious hang out for deer.
It's one thing in the daytime - you can see them on the side of the road and slow down - but when it's dark, they can leap out at you with no warning.

I don't like surprises.

I come home exhausted and white knuckled every time.

Day off again tomorrow - maybe I can accomplish something if I try to get to bed before 4:30 this time...

Ciao.
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Super Saturday

Sorry about that last post... Yeah. Feeble attempt at humor.

I mentioned earlier that I'm not myself these days, vitamin D deficiency, sunshine deprivation syndrome, glass half-empty and all that...

The funny bone's not the only thing that's off.

The other day at work, this cute little girl was crawling through the storage space under the cutting table, (a common event - 100% of all children try it - 99.9% of mothers don't even try to stop them.)

She dropped a toy on the floor, and dove for it - her little arms were too short to reach the floor, so she started tumbling to the floor.
I stood there watching, seeing what was going to happen, but all I could do was say "Oh my, she's falling..."

The response team in my brain must have been out to lunch, because I couldn't seem to move, even though I was standing right there.
Luckily a co-worker was close enough to grab her.

Odd sensation.


It's a girl's weekend here.

Hubby works late tonight, and tomorrow is the Super Bowl. My son invited his dad to come and watch with him. He asked if I wanted to come too...

Quite frankly, I'd rather have my toenails pulled out.

What with the pre-game shows, the commercial breaks every 3 minutes, the post game shows, the interviews, and on and on and on...

If there's anything more boring than football, it's a bunch of rabid men talking about football.

The girls and I will stay home, eat pizza and watch Jane Austin movies or something.

We'll be just fine, thank you very much.
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Constitutional Amendment.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the congress,
I hereby propose that Valentines Day be eradicated from this nation's calendar.

It is a day that will forever live in infamy - one that perpetuates misery, engenders false hopes, and destroys the self esteem of all generations.



Do we set aside a day for Little Bighorn?

Nay.

The Alamo?

Nay.

Donner party?

Again, Nay - and for good reason.

As with Valentines day, those events were also brutal massacres that, though appropriate to remember, are not events to celebrate with flowers and candy.

Those of us who are loved know it. We wish them well.

Those of us who are not do not wish to be reminded, or for a 24 hour period, have our noses rubbed in it.

Thank you.
.
Just Say No!

Groundhog Day

I hear the little buggar saw a shadow today. First time in years (and it's about time!)
I hope his prediction is a solid one this year. I'm so tired of COLD!

It's a quiet non-working morning, but not for long...
Tornado T'Ellie is coming to spend the day with grandma. Not sure what we'll do for ten hours, but I guess we'll just go with the flow.

Haven't got much to say these days. I guess I'm succumbing to sun deprivation syndrome or something. Just not quite myself lately.
Not much inclination to anything... at all.
Just me and the dog rattling around this empty house most days.
Me and lil' Ant'ny - we're getting pretty tight.

Grandma took a spill on the pavement this week. She's been pretty lonely without grandpa, and doesn't see well enough to drive - so she decided to walk up to check on her son. She missed the dip in the sidewalk, and went down hard - right on her face.
She's ok - just bumps and bruises, but Ouch! Such a worry now that she's on her own.

Finished my book club book (The Help) and enjoyed it a lot. I've had that one on my wish list at Amazon for a while, but I probably wouldn't have gotten around to reading it, if no for the book club.

Last meeting, they asked me what I've read lately and who my favorite authors are. After stuttering and stammering about books I haven't read in decades, I decided that I'm in a rut. I'm a boring reader.
I find one author I like (or can trust not to be vulgar) and I stick to them, whether I like their writing or not.

I've vowed this year to expand my horizons a bit.

See ya later, got to get something done before the munchkin gets here!

Happy Rodent Prognostication Day!
(We humans are a weird bunch - we'll celebrate anything...)
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Me Again...

It's been a pretty quiet week around here. Not much to tell...

My book club started back up last Thursday, after a couple of months holiday break.
Confession: I don't always read the books they recommend, but I do enjoy going just for the social interaction. This is a fun group of ladies, and the always have a lot of news to share.
This month we are reading "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett
Liking it so far...

A few weeks ago, I had a surprise at work. A lady came up to me and introduced herself saying that she just wanted to meet the other Pat Taylor.

When the new Payson Temple was announced in Conference, someone started a group on facebook, and I left a comment there.
A few days later, I had a note in my box from this lady saying that she was also Pat Taylor, and that she wanted to know a little bit about her "twin."
We chatted back and forth for a while, but I never thought I would actually meet her.
Fun. :-)

I went to the Doc yesterday - (Ear nose & throat specialist) (Still working on the thyroid issue.)
He recommended just watching it for a year - until I mentioned that we'd be out of insurance in a few months. He said then that I should probably not mess around with it, and just get it out.
I have mixed feelings about that - I would like the symptoms gone, but I was hoping medication could take care of that.

He said that where it often helps shrink the tumor, that it doesn't relieve the symptoms. (Bummer) He also said that the biopsy I had doesn't always guarantee that there is no cancer, (since it only takes in a few small samples of the area.)

I'm not so much worried about that as just the thoughts of more surgery.
With all the issues I have, it's complicated. I've been really lucky so far, but who knows when that luck will run out - you know?

I have a month to think about it and decide.

It snowed yesterday. I was almost glad to see it.
It's been so nice this past week, that I've been thinking of spring and heading to the garden. Anyone from here knows it's waaay too early to be even thinking about that! It will be (at least) May before it's safe to expose helpless seedlings to the hazards of this climate.

The seed catalogs started coming in January, nevertheless, and I have been wishing and dreaming...

I've wanted to change my front flower bed for a couple of years, but haven't quite figured out what I want there yet.
I've been looking at these small ornamental kale - odd for a front flower bed, I know, but I think they're kind of pretty. I was going to get some in last year, but I was too late to find them...

And I would love me some of these green mums, but I'm not having much luck finding them either...


Plenty of time to dream...
.

Great? .....Not so Much.

Gonna snark a little today, so cover your ears... (eyes?)

*So, you know that fun day I spent playing with the gran's this week?
I was informed last night that one of them has a serious case of strep.
Poor girl. Instead of the typical headache and sore throat, she broke out with a horrendous rash all over her body.
Swell.

*Hubby said that he found me a great new job. ...On board the Titanic.
(his sinking place of business)
...Hmmm. What should I do?

*Made a discovery this week - I hate the morning shift.
I am SO not a morning person.

Oh, and did I mention...

We had just sat down to dinner the other night, when hubby got a phone call.
It was our son who had just got off the bus at the park & ride, only to find that his truck (the old one that we just sold him) was missing.

Hubby jumped up and went to pick him up. He took him home and called the police.
...Hours later when hubby came home, he said that they had found out that the truck had not been stolen - it had been impounded.

There has been some kind of glitch in the system at the DMV that has earmarked our cars as being unlicensed (even though they clearly have tags displayed on the licence plates) and showing us with no insurance.
- And for some reason, they've been sending all that info to my son's house instead of ours, as if they are registered to him.

My daughters were out shopping on Saturday, when she got pulled over. Made some calls - same thing is going on with her car. She's been afraid to drive it all week until they can get it straightened out.

Guess what? Son got the warning for MY car this week.
...Do I dare drive it to work?

Very expensive mistake that someone else made on our behalf.

Oy Vey.

Good news? Day off tomorrow.
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Grandma Day

Monday being a holiday, and the kids being out of school, (and I off work - wonder of wonders) I thought it would be a good day for a grandma day with the girlies.

They've been asking since before Christmas to have a card-making day - and I got lots of fun new "toys" for Christmas that needed testing...

So, it was a date.

They came over around noon. At first, they busied themselves just plastering stickers to paper... but as they would come to my craft room for supplies, they would see something interesting and ask "what does this do?"
Soon we were peculating with the big guns - the Quickutz, the embossing dies, the ribbon & embellies...

It's so fun having this interest in common to share with them! We had so much fun.

Around 3, I was starting to get the shakes from running the stairs and bending over the table, so I poured out some Chex mix for some carb therapy. The girls descended on it like a plague of locusts.
Then Millie looked up at me and said - "Grandma, did you know we didn't have lunch?"
Well, how could I know that? (Although I should have assumed - seems their parents always send them here hungry...)

Anyway, we took a break for a full fledged lunch.

By the time we finished, it seems the wind had gone out of the sails for all of us. The spirit was still willing, but the flesh was weak...

While they finished eating, I started cleaning up. Soon their dad came to pick them up - seems they had a karate practice to go to, so timing couldn't have worked out better.
(They performed with their Karate class at a Jazz game on Tuesday.)

My back was hurting, so I laid down - just for a minute, before starting dinner...
When I woke up 5 hours later, dinner was over, and it was time for bed! LOL
(I love my patient family!)

The girls are old enough now to learn some fun things - I think I'll teach them to make squash books and maybe a necklace next time - can't wait!
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Winter White

I went for a drive yesterday - down to the land of turkeys and sheep, to visit my daughter at school. I was a little anxious about going, because there's a lot of snow out there and I didn't know what the roads would be like.
(They're an icy mess in front of my house...)

I made a quick trip to the library to get a book on CD to listen to on the way down. I wanted to kick myself when I discovered that I had gotten there without a pair of glasses!
(This has been happening a lot lately.)
Have you ever tried to choose a book by touch?
Yeah. It doesn't work.

I had to pull each one off the shelf and hope the titles were big enough to see semi-blind. I finally found one I hadn't read by an author that I like, so I checked it out - whether it would have been my first choice or not...

As usual, I worried needlessly. The roads were clear and dry, and it was smoooooth sailing. The only thing near to a problem that I had was that with the snow cover over everything, landmarks were camouflaged and it was a little disorienting.
Until I started coming to the little towns, I wasn't always sure where I was.

It was beautiful though. Miles and miles of sparkling untouched snow.
I love it - like looking at a vast, perfectly frosted cake.

In my younger days, I would have liked nothing better than to plow through every inch of it (or at least as much as possible...)
But these days I'm perfectly content viewing it from the interior of my heated cruising "bubble."

That thought brings a fresh memory to mind...

A few weeks ago, we had the girls here for the kids' weekly date night. It had snowed the whole time as we snuggled in front of cartoon after cartoon, so by the time their parents got here, there was about a foot laying on the ground.

As we sat visiting with the kids, a cold blast told me that the little one (who can't sit still for a minute,) had escaped through the front door.

I ran up the stairs and found her plowing trails through the virgin snow, laughing and giggling as she went.
(Thankfully, she had thought to put on her snow boots first - not a given for this child!)

I so wish I had caught that moment on film - I've played it in my mind a hundred times since.

It was the perfect expression of pure unadulterated JOY.

We ran into my daughter in law's sister as we were shopping for groceries.
I had posted on facebook that I would be in town, but I marveled at the chances that we would be in the same place at the same time - until I thought about it some more...
We would have had to be at Wally World or McDonald's - no other places to hang out down there. :-) Always fun to see her.

I covered all the bases with my daughter and felt good about the trip.
The ride home always feels so much shorter than getting there for some reason.
The sun was just beginning to dip in behind the hills, casting pink and blue shadows across the sparkling snow...

Hard to keep one's eyes on the road.

The rest of the week is mine, but there is laundry to do and calls to make...

Later.
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Total Bust

Yesterday was a blow-out.

I slept in, because having church at 1 pm allows that kind of decadence...
As I started breakfast, it started to dawn on me that this wasn't a typical Sunday - it was stake conference, which starts at 10.
I looked at the clock - 9:50.

I don't know about you, but I can't pull myself together in ten minutes. Ugh.
So I'm afraid I totally whiffed that one.

Hubby informed me that the kids wouldn't be over either - it's football playoff time, and they had plans to watch some game with the in-laws.

...What do you do when a free day drops in your lap?

I pulled out all the new toys I got for Christmas (that I haven't even had time to open yet,) and made cards all day.

I got off to a slow start - I haven't worked with the paper goods since... Well, since my daughter in law moved out of state.
So it took a while to get the creative juices ...moving. (I can't say flowing, because they're still not - I'm reminded of that commercial where the swimmers dive into a pool filled with caramel...)

Anyway, I was able to crank out quite a few by the end of the day - some valentines for the grans, a couple just to try out some cute little doily tags that came in the mail the other day, and a few to try out some new dies.

Guess what? Making cards is much messier business than painting.
My room is a disaster.

Good times, good times.

Hubby was all excited for the roast that he had bought for Sunday dinner.
A chance to use yet another unused Christmas gift - the new crock pot.

Unfortunately, when I went up to get said roast out of the fridge - it wasn't a roast at all, it was a corned beef brisket. Ick.
I've only cooked one of those once, when I made an Irish meal for St. Patty's day. Haven't made it since, because I really didn't care for it.

Very disappointing.

Hubby and Melissa both looked like they were having a hard time cutting it, so I didn't even try it. (Chewing issues.) I enjoyed a vegetarian meal of carrots and potatoes.

Last time I let hubby go to the store alone...

Today is a work day, but after that my week is wide open. Got to fill it up with appointments though.
Doctor, dentist, neighbor visits - and I've got to make a run down to visit my youngest and take care of some financial issues.

Busy, busy, busy.

Monday.
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Changes

Last night as my head hit the pillow, for some reason a line from Hamlet's soliloquy ran through my mind:

"O, that this too too solid flesh would melt. Thaw and resolve itself into a dew!"

It made me smile as I thought; Amen brother, I wish that too!
(What a great weight-loss theme that would make.)

I know it's resolution time, but I really don't want to join the rabid weight-loss crowd - on the other hand, I have been feeling the uncomfortable results of the holiday goodies, and have been trying to rid myself of them.

I have no delusions of ever getting back to my high school weight. (In truth, that could be frightening - nothing is in the same place as it was back then!)
But I would like to feel comfortable in my own skin.

My biggest hurdle will be getting over that teen-age mindset that I still hang on to. (I can eat what ever I want when ever I want.) And apply some common sense. (Which I've never possessed.)
This year I've developed cholesterol problems and vitamin deficiencies.

It's time.

Other changes have been rearing their heads -

For some reason, I'm having a hard time wanting to listen to music.

The car has always been my secret sound chamber where I crank it up and belt it out, but I have no desire to do that anymore.
I don't really like driving in silence, but I've grown weary of the collection of tunes that I have, and talk radio just annoys the crap out of me.

I prefer books on CD, but they are costly. The library here has a fairly large collection, but they are mostly horror - which freaks me out.

So, I ride in silence.

The other day I received a booklet in the mail with college courses on CD. Wow - what a cool idea!
...History, math, science, music, art and English - all of them sound interesting to me. I'm thinking of giving them a go...

I spent the last two days working on a painting that I tried to start before the holidays, and has been sitting there mocking me ever since.

It was supposed to be a companion piece to another one I did, but what I learned was that when I substitute colors, I really need to make note of the change, because the faces didn't come out the same.
It looks fine on it's own, but when placed side by side - they don't match.

Poop.

I'm enjoying the process anyway.

I'm not the same person as I was the first time around (with the painting.)
I have to put on two pairs of glasses to see the fine details (which will make me blind in a hurry, no doubt.) ...And the hands were not arthritic before, but still, it feels good to create again, and have that feeling of accomplishment that it always brings.

Mighty Change...

My poor dog has been going through empty nest syndrome lately.

For years he has been nanny-dog (much like the dog in Peter Pan) to my youngest, who is now away at college.
He is so pathetic - when she comes home for a visit, he is her shadow - and when she leaves again, he has panic attacks.

He's been really clingy with me this past week, which is not... normal.

There's always been an animosity between the two of us, and he has kept a respectable distance.
(Because he was brought into this house against my wishes, and I knew if I showed even the slightest interest *Boom* the kids would neglect him, and he would become my responsibility, as with other pets in the past.)

...Those walls have been breaking down of late - I can't help feeling sympathetic towards him because, let's face it - we're going through the same phase.

Last night as I sat in the chair, unwinding from the days labor (painting isn't physical work - but it is stressful,) an old craving came across me again...

As a mom, my favorite thing was always cuddling the little ones on my lap.
I don't think I'll ever out grow that craving, although even the grand-kids have by now.
Not much human warmth to be had around here these days...

...So, I hoisted the poor thing up on my lap (he's older than I am [in dog years,] and it's a humiliation to him - picture lifting grandpa up to sit on your lap.) and fell asleep, sharing not human warmth, but the next best thing.

But shhh - that will just be our little secret...

*Wink*
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Peace Returns...

When I woke up Monday morning, a miracle had happened...
Everyone was back to school / work, and the world was as it should be.

Quiet.

I know I've become an isolationist - a little bunny, snug in it's burrow who never wants to leave...

- But that's not my fault.

I blame... everybody else.

I've been almost completely abandoned for the last two years (at least it's felt that way.) Hubby busy taking care of the infirmed members of his family, the kids with college and work.

I hated it at first - in fact, I had a bonafied nervous breakdown.
But, gradually (and with medication - LOL,) I've gotten used to it - even embraced it.

...And now I go wacko when too many people are around.

You just can't win, can you? LOL

It's not that I mind all the together time, I love my family - I really do...

What I don't love is all the extra meals, the added dirty dishes & garbage, the endless clutter everywhere...
And the snacks! I was just getting to where I could almost recognize a female shape, and now I'm looking like a truck driver again...

I live pretty simply when I'm alone, (cold cereal for breakfast, toast and jam for lunch. I'm only accustomed to making one meal a day.)
I eat because I have to - not because I care...

I guess what really bends me out of shape when they're here is just that it's a change in my routine.

Spoken like a true hermit, I know. (Again, not my fault.) :-)

Anyway, I digress...

What this post was meant to be about is that it's a new year, and along with that comes all the expectations of major change.

For the last decade, I've rebelled at that, and refused to play the "resolution" card.
It seemed to me that it was a treacherous evil trap - doomed to certain failure and self-recrimination, because the ugly truth about resolutions is that they involve changing habits, which, especially at my age, is difficult at best.
(Ugh - major run-on sentence.)

I was doing some reading in preparation for scheduling the music at church... (Each month of the year has a theme, and there is a conference talk assigned to that theme.)

This month's theme is; "Things That Matter Most" taken from the talk by Dieter F Uchdorf.
As I read the talk, I decided upon my mantra for the year - SIMPLIFY.
The talk was filled with good solid advice on overcoming all the noise and chaos that we face everyday, and returning to the basics - home, God, and family.

Favorite Quotes:

"Therefore, it is good advice to slow down a little, steady the course, and focus on the essentials when experiencing adverse conditions."

"It is said that any virtue, when taken to the extreme can become a vice."

"...Do all ...things in wisdom and order, for it is not requisite that [we] should run faster than [we have] strength, [but] it is expedient that [we] should be diligent, [and] thereby...win the prize."

"We would do well to slow down a little, proceed at the optimum speed for our circumstances, focus on the significant, lift up our eyes, and truly see the things that matter most."

"To strengthen our relationship with God, we need some meaningful time alone with Him."

...And finally;

"Be still and know that I am God."

Good advice for any situation - financial struggles, loss of a loved one, major decision making, or just loneliness.

My new theme for the coming year.
.

...By the way - did you know that "bonafide" is not in the dictionary any more? (at least not Bloggers)

Sheesh. What's this world coming to?

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1.1.11

I just wanted to post today so I could put up that number... *snicker*


Happy New Year!

I know I kind of abandoned my blogging project a little early, but truly, it has been so boring around here lately.

You know how it is at the end of Christmas vacation when all the togetherness starts to get on everyones' nerves, the holiday trappings start to feel like so much clutter, and although being able to sleep in till 10:00 is nice at first, it gets to the point that you only stay in bed because there's no reason to get up.

Yeah.

This is the part of that Christmas song that goes: "...And mom & dad can hardly wait for school to start again."

Thursday was just another work day, and another storm day.
My youngest went to Brigham City to spend New Year's with her friend - even though all of us did our best to talk her out of it.
(Hmmm - I wonder what side of the family she gets the stubbornness from? ...meh, it's a toss up.)

Friday, it was me who got bull-headed. It was my first weekend off since I can't remember when - and a holiday to boot!
So I let everyone know that I planned to spend the day locked in my craft room, and didn't want to be disturbed. Surprisingly, they left me alone.
(I think Hubby secretly likes it when I paint.)

It's been an eye-opener to me what a creature of habit I've become. I do everything so regularly, that it's almost a ritual for me;

*up at 8:30
*check the email
*eat breakfast/take pills
*errands/cleaning
*nap or work

It was also evident when I went for drives with anyone - there are certain spots on the road where I always change lanes, certain exits I always take - certain corners to turn. If my rules are not followed, I become anxious and edgy...

...Well, you get the drift.

That schedule has been turned upside down for the last 3 months, and I've been bounced around by everyone else's needs/wants. It gets jarring to my nerves, and I need quiet time to myself to pull it all together again.

I spent the day painting until the light got so bad I couldn't see anymore.

Hubby had to work until 11 Thursday night, and I was worried about him having to be on his injured knee that long, but he got along ok.
He slept most of the day on Friday, but I'm sure he needed that...

New Year's Eve was pretty dull. In fact, I got so bored that I headed upstairs to go to bed - but looked at the clock and realized, it was only 8:30!
Melissa saved the day by bringing down her stash of DVD's. We picked The Young Victoria. We're all Anglophiles and history buffs here (nerds) so that worked for us.
It ended precisely at midnight. We said Happy New Year and went to bed. (After a quick text to a couple of the kids.)

Are we exciting or what?

2010 was a beast that I'm glad to see go, hoping for a better 2011.

Happy New Year!
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"Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky,
The flying cloud, the frosty light;
The year is dying in the night;
Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true."
- Alfred Lord Tennyson, Ring Out, Wild Bells

*Note: I always want to sing this hymn in Church, but it's too hard for my organists to play, and it's a buggar to lead too, so... Enjoy!