Changes

Last night as my head hit the pillow, for some reason a line from Hamlet's soliloquy ran through my mind:

"O, that this too too solid flesh would melt. Thaw and resolve itself into a dew!"

It made me smile as I thought; Amen brother, I wish that too!
(What a great weight-loss theme that would make.)

I know it's resolution time, but I really don't want to join the rabid weight-loss crowd - on the other hand, I have been feeling the uncomfortable results of the holiday goodies, and have been trying to rid myself of them.

I have no delusions of ever getting back to my high school weight. (In truth, that could be frightening - nothing is in the same place as it was back then!)
But I would like to feel comfortable in my own skin.

My biggest hurdle will be getting over that teen-age mindset that I still hang on to. (I can eat what ever I want when ever I want.) And apply some common sense. (Which I've never possessed.)
This year I've developed cholesterol problems and vitamin deficiencies.

It's time.

Other changes have been rearing their heads -

For some reason, I'm having a hard time wanting to listen to music.

The car has always been my secret sound chamber where I crank it up and belt it out, but I have no desire to do that anymore.
I don't really like driving in silence, but I've grown weary of the collection of tunes that I have, and talk radio just annoys the crap out of me.

I prefer books on CD, but they are costly. The library here has a fairly large collection, but they are mostly horror - which freaks me out.

So, I ride in silence.

The other day I received a booklet in the mail with college courses on CD. Wow - what a cool idea!
...History, math, science, music, art and English - all of them sound interesting to me. I'm thinking of giving them a go...

I spent the last two days working on a painting that I tried to start before the holidays, and has been sitting there mocking me ever since.

It was supposed to be a companion piece to another one I did, but what I learned was that when I substitute colors, I really need to make note of the change, because the faces didn't come out the same.
It looks fine on it's own, but when placed side by side - they don't match.

Poop.

I'm enjoying the process anyway.

I'm not the same person as I was the first time around (with the painting.)
I have to put on two pairs of glasses to see the fine details (which will make me blind in a hurry, no doubt.) ...And the hands were not arthritic before, but still, it feels good to create again, and have that feeling of accomplishment that it always brings.

Mighty Change...

My poor dog has been going through empty nest syndrome lately.

For years he has been nanny-dog (much like the dog in Peter Pan) to my youngest, who is now away at college.
He is so pathetic - when she comes home for a visit, he is her shadow - and when she leaves again, he has panic attacks.

He's been really clingy with me this past week, which is not... normal.

There's always been an animosity between the two of us, and he has kept a respectable distance.
(Because he was brought into this house against my wishes, and I knew if I showed even the slightest interest *Boom* the kids would neglect him, and he would become my responsibility, as with other pets in the past.)

...Those walls have been breaking down of late - I can't help feeling sympathetic towards him because, let's face it - we're going through the same phase.

Last night as I sat in the chair, unwinding from the days labor (painting isn't physical work - but it is stressful,) an old craving came across me again...

As a mom, my favorite thing was always cuddling the little ones on my lap.
I don't think I'll ever out grow that craving, although even the grand-kids have by now.
Not much human warmth to be had around here these days...

...So, I hoisted the poor thing up on my lap (he's older than I am [in dog years,] and it's a humiliation to him - picture lifting grandpa up to sit on your lap.) and fell asleep, sharing not human warmth, but the next best thing.

But shhh - that will just be our little secret...

*Wink*
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