The Quest for Joy

A couple of weeks ago, I sent my writing buddy a couple of chapters of a story my son is writing for her critique. Her first comment was;
"He likes writing more than you do - doesn't he?'

That comment made me laugh out loud at first, (because it's just so true,) but the conversation that followed got pretty deep.

Basically she said to me; "if you don't enjoy doing it, then why do it?" She told me to find what it is I love and pursue that instead. ...But that's the whole problem - I don't know what I would enjoy doing anymore.

Back in the day, it was always crystal clear to me what
I loved, and I couldn't help myself from going after it.
Challenges? Bring 'em on - I loved it!

...But I'm just at a weird place in life now - all those things that I used to love, I've been there - done that - either eliminated it, or peaked at it, and am on the downhill slide.
I can't stand that. If I can't be excellent at something any more - I don't want to do it.
In a nutshell, I've lost the passion for it.

So, where does that leave me now?

My friend suggested taking classes, and trying new things... The question is, what is there left for me to try?

- But, at least that little conversation stirred me to ask myself "What is it that would bring me joy in life?"
And I've made a vow to myself to dig deep and try to find it - whatever it might be.

...So, off I go on that quest for joy - I may fall off my horse a few times, and have to joust a few windmills, but if I die trying, at least I will have something to show for my life besides all my properties and farms on facebook. (Ha ha)

Speaking of all that time I have - I am really learning to enjoy that.
I live for the peaceful hours when everyone is at work and school, and I can govern my own hours any way I want.
I have never been one who liked to be stuck home alone all the time - I would rather go and see and do - but I am learning to cherish the quiet and the freedom.
(Good thing, because I'm too poor to shop and too lazy to do anything else! LOL)

I could truly love every aspect of it.... if it weren't for the fact that hubby is working two jobs, and getting none of the rest and peace that I have. It just makes me feel so darn guilty.

Life is out of balance, and it's so not fair.

Enough for today - off in search of dragons. Sancho, bring me my horse...
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Girl's Day Out

It's sure nice to break out and just have some girl time now & then.
My daughter in law and her sister took me with them to Scrapbook USA this weekend.
It's getting to be a tradition a couple of times a year. I had planned to be good and not buy much, but it was so hard to resist all the good deals they had!
We shopped until we dropped. (And yet, I still have a little cash in the bank, can you believe it?)

On the way home, we stopped off at IKEA.
It was a first for me - I could have easily played "kid in a candy store" there. (But then, where would I put anything else in this house? LOL)
Lots of fun stuff though, and lunch to boot!

Not much else new here...
My old high school class is gathering on facebook. It's so fun to see how many of them are jumping on the bandwagon and re-living old memories. I've found a couple of my good friends - I have missed them so much! (And they are still crazy after all these years!) Good times.

The nice weather has put me in a "Spring Cleaning" mood. It's time to de-junk, unclutter, and scrub the winter blahs away. (Have you seen those teasers for the TV show about hoarders? *Shudder* not going there, I swear!)

If I come up missing again, that's where I'll be...
(Cleaning, not buried under rubble - I hope.)

Well, I've been to church, had my nap, and the girls are cooking my dinner. Does life get better than this?
Happy Sunday
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The Best Laid Plans...

For a day that started out with a clear plan of what was to come, things couldn't have gone more awry.

Tuesday, I spent the entire day sorting and organizing my scrapbook paper, so today, I decided, would be a good day to actually use some.

When I cleaned up yesterday, I purposely left out some pre-cut cards that I found, and some of my 6x6 paper pads, and proclaimed St. Pat's day as "Card-a-palooza."
I was going to create something from the mess as a reward for all my hard work.

But, by the time I was up and dressed and done with my morning routine, my youngest was home for lunch.
She took a phone call just after she got in, and had her plans totally crushed by her friend, reducing her to a sobbing mess.

This has been a rough year for her. Besides the fact that it's spring, and Senior-itis is at it's all time high, she's having some serious growing pains too.
She's having to make those tough rest-of-your-life affecting decisions, and learning that life as an adult is a little more complicated than she imagined.

Today's situation was a pretty sad one. I couldn't stand to see her cry, so I grabbed the keys and told her to get in the car. We went to lunch, then I offered her a choice of going shopping or just for a drive.
Seeing as how we are both financially embarrassed (as my neighbor always calls it,) and she wasn't in the mood to mingle with the public, she opted for the latter.

We headed up through BYU campus and around the Temple, then up into the hills above (the high rent district,) and ooohed and ahhhed at the mansions there.
Then on a whim I decided that today was the day for the "Mommy tour".

I've been telling her for years (or threatening?) that I was going to take her around the town where I grew up someday, and tell her about my childhood.
(Hey, somebody's got to document it, right?) So, we did that.
Sadly, there are aren't many landmarks still standing, but it was fun to show her some of the places I used to roam.

We visited my birthplace, homes, schools and church buildings and visited my brother's grave. Then we drove up the canyon a little way (until the snow got deep, and we feared the road would end.)
That was the first time I've been up there since I moved away decades ago. It felt strange and unfamiliar to me. I didn't recognize anything at all.
She actually enjoyed the tour, and came home feeling much better.

I've gotten carried away, but there is a point to this tale. We have a dear friend who has dubbed our family the "no-plans-Taylors" (that's a very long story for another day) ...but now you know why.
If we take the trouble to plan out our day, you can bet that all plans will change completley before the day is over.

That's just the way it is.

On the other hand, we took a disastrous day, and turned it around.
Huzzah.

Happy St.Patty's
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Food Challenge # 1: Evil Chicken

I mentioned last week that I was reading a novel called Devil's Food Cake, and that there were a few recipes inside...

We decided to try one of those for our challenge today.
The recipe we chose is the one called Evil Chicken.

I have family members who have issues with spicy food, so I had to promise to tone it down a bit. I only added 1/3 of the chili powder that it called for.
In that case, I suppose you could say that my chicken wasn't evil, it was only slightly naughty.

Here's the recipe:

Evil Chicken
(The book says dieter's beware!)

1 pound bacon, cut into bite size pieces
1/2 to 1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breast, chopped into bite-size pieces (one large chicken breast will usually do the job)
1 tablespoons chili powder
1 cup brown sugar
up to 1/2 cup water, as needed
Cooked rice

In a large pan, cook bacon over medium high heat until nearly done. Do not drain.
Stir in chicken and chili powder. Continue cooking, stirring occasionally, until bacon and chicken are fully cooked.
Add brown sugar and cook until sugar is dissolved and sauce begins to thicken, about 4 to 5 minutes. (Be careful once the sugar is added not to let the sauce turn into toffee.) Add water if necessary to thin the sauce, but keep in mind the sauce is more of a coating.
Serve mixture over hot rice.
Serves 6

The chicken turned out rather tasty.
I think I could have added the whole amount of chili powder and no one would have noticed, because the sweetness of the sauce coveres it up. It didn't taste spicy at all to me.
I have to say, I'm a little skeptical about the part where it one chicken breast is enough for 6 servings. I used 4 to serve my family (9 were here today) and it was just enough.
I served it with brown rice, a garden salad, and some sweet potato french fries.
Yum!

***

My brother in law starts his cancer treatments this week.
My husband called a family gathering tonight at his house to offer our prayers and support. Grandma estimates that there were about 79 of us in attendance.
If numbers count at all in prayers, then he should be well covered.
Best wishes to his family.

Happy Sabbath.
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Chocolate 911

It's been one of those weeks again.
Everyone at school and work for all hours of the day...
My youngest takes the car to school most days, so I'm stuck in this house staring at the walls 24/7.
Most of the time I don't mind - I love me some peace and quiet, but there are also those days when I just can't take it anymore.
Have you ever been imprisoned at home during a serious chocolate emergency?
It's not pretty my friends.

Meet my newest addiction:
This is some serious life support baby. Won't be home without it.

While we're on the subject of Chocolate...
I escaped long enough to run to the nearest bookstore the other night, and grabbed me a copy of this:

My sister mentioned this was out a few weeks ago, and I've been dying to get my hands on it ever since.
It is the third in a series of 'culinary mysteries' (complete with recipes.)
The heroine is a middle aged lady, (much like myself) who just can't help herself from getting involved in all kinds of crazy cases, much to the dismay of her detective 'boyfriend.'

I'm loving this one, just like the rest.

Ahhhhh - I may just make it through the week after all...
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Time Keeps on Slippin'.....into the Future

Happy Monday my peeps!

I had a whirlwind weekend, my head is still spinning a bit.
I have an early work shift today, so I'm trying to pull myself together, but I had some thoughts I wanted to share today.

I've been thinking a lot about TIME lately...

Some of my high school class members fouond me on facebook recently.

I had mixed feelings about adding them as friends- it's been a few decades since I saw most of them last, so I've wondered - what could we still have in common? I've felt the need to be very careful what I say - can't be myself you know - still the class geek...
I do have to say though, it has been fun hearing from people who share some of my history for a change. (I've lived in hubby's hometown since graduation, so I've lived his life for a very long time.)

Like I said, I haven't seen most of these people since they were fresh-faced teenagers, so to see pictures of them as they are now was a bit of a culture shock.
I study their pictures, and try to match it up with the memory of bygone days...

One day, I called my daughter over to the computer and asked her - "do I look as old as these people?"

Of course she said "no," after all, I still have the power to ground her - but since, I've spent some serious time studying myself in the mirror, and yes, yes I do look that old.

Time has caught up with me in a big way lately.

That really bothers me - this brutally honest self image.
A couple of weeks ago, as I got dressed and was applying a layer of spackle to the cracks in my face, I had to ask hubby (because it baffles me, you know,) "Whatever possessed you to marry such an ugly old woman?"

Bless him, hubby tries, but it doesn't always come across the way he'd like it too - he always replies something like; "I married a very pretty girl" ...which I always interperate as: "You didn't look like that when I married you." ...as you can see, it goes down hill a bit...
(I also have the power to deflect compliments.)

Anyway, Time, my friends, is no friend of mine.

***

In other news, we were watching the Oscars last night. (Not because we wanted to, just because it happened to be on that channel...) and I must say, it was an anti-climax.
I've never seen a crowd so underwhelmed with each other's accomplishments. The dresses, which are always all the buzz, were basically all the same - huge and billowy on the bottom, and microscopic on the top. I couldn't help but notice that most of the women were slouched and hunched over, as if either trying to breathe, or trying to keep the top of the dress up (?)

Is Joan Rivers red carpet job open? ...I'd like to apply.

...And what was up with George Clooney? Every time they showed his face, he was shooting crusty looks at someone.

...Just a few quick observations, better get ready for work now.

Happy Monday.
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