Count Down

It is the last week before Christmas, and the rush is on.

I took some time to myself last week, to fortify myself against the onslaught.

Thursday, I drove down to visit my sister.
We had a fun day - we did lunch at a cozy little diner, then took a tour of the town.
I always love visiting that area - it feels to me like going back in time to when life was simpler.
I know that's probably a silly thought - I'm sure life is just as hectic for the people who live there, but it's nice to imagine that anyhow...

We went to a new little ice cream shop and I tried a flavor that intrigued me - chocolate pomegranate.

Oh my gosh - it was so delicious!

I had it running all over me before I was finished, but I enjoyed every bite.
My tummy was a little confused by it though, it took a while to process.
( Ha ha.)

I met some of her friends, and we played dolls a little - I have a favorite saying that I rand across years ago - it goes something like this:

"Having a sister is like a little bit of childhood that is never lost."

So true, so true.

When I got home from work Saturday, (after the fiasco of not getting it off for my daughter's friend for her special day) I found out that she had gotten the dates mixed up, and she wasn't planning to go until Monday!

...So I DID make the right choice not to take the day off, because if I had, I would have been sitting home frustrated and angry.

Sunday things fell into place too - even though my daughter in law didn't make it to church, the other guy did. He sang beautifully, and it was a really nice meeting.
He brought his wife with him this time - I haven't seen her in years.
It was like old home week. :-)

Sunday night was our big family party at Grandma's. I usually dread that, because I'm such an introvert and there are so MANY of us - but I really enjoyed it. (I'll post pics when I have more time.)
The hardest part was figuring out who all the kids were! They have all grown since I saw them last, but some not just a few inches, but several feet!

(Wow, when did that happen?)

Earlier, when I drove down to the valley, I had grabbed a couple of CD's to listen to on the road, and one of them just happened to be the sound track from "Home Alone."

This song is one of my favorites on that album:



It made me think of Christmases past, and of family and old friends.
I've seen a lot of them at work lately, and it's been really good to catch up with them a bit, and reminisce about the "good old days." Almost makes the hustle and bustle of the season seem worth while...

Speaking of the past, Sunday morning, my daughter gave me the longest hug and said that she had dreamt of my mother the night before.
I asked her about the dream, and she told me that mom had been trying and trying to get a message to me and couldn't get me on the phone, so she had left a heart wrenching (daughter's words) message on the answering machine.

...The funny thing is that right after my mother passed, I took the tape from the answering machine and put it in my drawer because I knew her voice was on it, and I couldn't bear it if it were accidentally (or otherwise) erased.

Years have passed, and I still have never been able to bring myself to listen to it.

Maybe it's time... (?)

On a not-so-good note, I learned today that I'm getting canned after Christmas.
Pretty bummed about that because, believe it or not, I do like my job.

That's a subject for another day - don't want to bring this post down.

Like Scarlett, I'll think about it tomorrow...
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Another Week

...Has gone by, and I'm one step closer to being finished with the shopping.

Much relieved.

Yesterday was the day I have been stressing about all month - Jen's best friend had invited us months ago, to go shopping for wedding dresses with her.
i put it on the calendar at my old job, but when i changed jobs, it took so long to figure out how to put in for it (it's all done on computer) that i missed the deadline and got scheduled anyway.

i stressed over that for weeks, I talked to people - who always put me on hold...
Finally, i just decided that i would call in sick when the day came.
But Friday night, i just didn't feel right about it.
You're only allowed 3 call in's in a 6 month period - if you have more than that, it's possible termination.
I've already called in once, when my nephew broke his neck - so a second one so soon would look bad on my record.

As it turned out, it was kind of a good thing i didn't go. Everyone was SO overwhelmed at work. We had a big exec. coming, and he didn't want to see any empty spaces between merchandise.
We all worked so hard all day bringing stuff out of the back room to try to keep the shelves stocked - but it was a fruitless effort. Stuff was flying out of there faster than we could fill it.

When i left the place, it looked like New Orleans after Katrina. if i had bailed on a day like this, it would have looked very bad for me indeed.

...When i got home, i learned that the girls hadn't even gone dress shopping.
By the time they got to Logan and got all her stuff loaded in the truck (She's moving home between semesters,) it was too late.

I think i made the right choice. I hated disappointing the Rachel (who practically grew up in our house,)
...but the way things turned out, i would have been a nervous wreck the whole time, and that wouldn't have been good for anyone.
instead, i got my shopping done, showed my support at work, AND had some quiet time to finish some projects...

Today will be interesting - my music program for church got all messed up.
My daughter in law (who was my main musical number) bailed on me at the last minute - and that guy who I didn't think was coming this year, may or may not show up.
No one knows for sure.
As far as I can tell, it is just a rumor come down from a person who knows a person who knows his wife on Facebook.

If there's one thing i've learned on this job, it's to roll with the punches.
I'll have a practice Hymn on standby...

One more week to the big day - doing my best to hang in there.

*Sorry about the grammar issues - some of the keys on this computer stick - hubby won't admit it, but I'm betting dollars to doughnuts that he spilled Pepsi on it at some point.
He spills Pepsi on EVERYTHING (even me!) sooner or later...
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Santa Lives!

...And I know because I got my wish yesterday.

Hubby took the car to be worked on, so I had the day all to myself.
I got all my sewing done just as he returned - just in time to go meet my daughter at the mall.

I wish I had her shopping skills! I told her what my budget was and told her to pick out 3 items that would fall into that amount, and she ended up with 5 and spent less than I had allotted her - so I took her to dinner.

We were in separate cars, so I drove home alone. It was so peaceful - just me and the lights, my MoTabs in the CD player.
Felt a little Christmas spirit creeping into my soul...

Just a few more odds & ends, and my shopping will be done - then I can concentrate on the next phase - menus, and then packing for vacation.

This is one of my favorite songs from that "MoTab" (Mormon Tabernacle Choir) album:



Got another work day ahead of me - got to run.
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Dear Santa...

My wishes are few this year, but come from my heart -

Please give every family in the state lots of Disney Cars vehicles, Transformers, Zhu zhu pets and Hot Wheels,
I am so weary of picking them up.

There are so few Giant baby dolls and Bouncing Babies left, please find them all good homes - they give me the creeps.

...And be sure to leave a lump of coal for whoever invented Talking Elmo - that was a bad BAD thing! ...And while you're at it, banish all things Nerf from the earth - they are a bane to society!

Be advised that there is a great need out there for an orphanage for Crib Life dolls - no one wants them, and there are so many!
I'll donate the first 20 bucks.

As for myself, my wants are few - shoes that pillow my feet as I go, squish me like Flat Stanley so I can make my way through the mobs of people easier, and please schedule my husband to work all day on at least one of my days off, so I can put my feet up and relax!

Also, could you please send a tracking number for that warm fuzzy Christmas Spirit I ordered?
It hasn't arrived yet, and I fear it is lost in the mail...

Most of all, dear Santa, please bring peace to my family and dear ones, and bless them all with Christmas joy.

Most sincerely,
Granny T
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Sunday

Having a quiet moment this morning - the calm before the Sunday storm...

It's still crazy in retail land, and it's keeping me busy and kind of stressed.
If you've ever dealt with the public during the holidays - well, lets just say it doesn't do much to encourage holiday cheer.

...And the mess at home doesn't help either.

I appreciate all that hubby has been doing around here, and heaven knows it has needed doing for sometime - but there are times I just want to come home and relax - and it's a little hard to do that...

My Church job is stressing me out too. There is this guy who has been performing "O Holy Night" for us every December for 20 some odd years - and I haven't been able to get him this year.

I don't know what they will do to me if I fail in this task - run me out of town on a rail? Have me drawn & quartered in the square?
I did not want to be the one to break this tradition - but I'm afraid it might be out of my hands.

I should never have put it off for so long, but I've been busy...

I have a Santa I've been trying to paint, and I can't get to him either.
He's been my only bargaining chip with hubby "If you make me do this, I won't have time to paint your Santa..."
He's a freak for my painted Santas, so it's the only thing that registers with him.
I'm about to ask the jolly old elf if he could arrange to schedule him to work on my days off so I can have some time to myself.
(Ha ha)
It's frustrating to me to start a project like that and not be able to finish it.

Before I started working, I tried to join my local chapter of Decorative Painters. I called, I emailed, I tried my best to contact them, but never got a response.
(In my paranoid mind, that is equal to a snub.)
So, I joined the National Chapter instead.

No meetings, classes or benefits, just a bi-monthly magazine, but I'm joining the painting community again. (Even if in name only.)
Hopefully, some time in the future I'll actually have time to do something with it...

Time to get ready for choir - it's been real.
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Thanksgiving (Belated)

Thanksgiving has come and gone, but until now, I've been too busy to chronicle it.
It wasn't exactly the best of days - most of us had to work that night, and we were dreading it, and it showed.
Dinner was a bit disappointing, but then my daugher-in-law and one of the grans had the stomach flu, so they weren't up to eating much anyway.

Family at table



The sales that night were a nightmare. There were fist fights over a stack of sheets, (One woman wanted them ALL and was throwing punches and had another lady in a head lock.) They were escorted out of the store by the police and weren't allowed back in.
That was just one of the many fun incidents.

Black Friday wasn't quite that exciting, but it was impossible keeping up with the mess. Saturday it took two of us and six others to clean it up.
Things are somewhat back in order now...

We recieve a ton of merchandise daily, but of course the few items that most people want - we can't get in. Leap pads and crazy hair Lalaloopsie dolls, and Angry Birds board game.

Typical.

As per usual, as soon as the turkey was gone, hubby started decorating for Christmas.
I'm allowed one spot - the upstairs tree. I was too tired to care, so I hired it out...

The girls do a good job, and it's more fun to watch them than to do it myself!



I started making them gingerbread cookies and spiced cider as payment, but Millie started feeling sick again, so they rushed home.
I had to enjoy the treat by myself (while watching the Nutcracker Ballet.)
It was the first peaceful moment I've had all month...



*AHhhh....*

Besides decorating for Christmas, hubby has been busy putting up wallpaper and painting in the basement. The family room has been waiting for 20 to be finished, and is finally getting some attention - the downstairs bath also got a makeover (badly needed) and is looking pretty spiffy.

Me? I have done nothing all month but work and sleep. Something feels wrong with the universe - hubby has more days off lately than I do. (At least it feels that way.)

I know I promised a long juicy post - but it's been a week, if there was anything interesting going on, I've forgotten it already.

Slogging through 'till Christmas...
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I'm a Survivor

...I made it through the crazy Thanksgiving day sales, Black Friday and Saturday (the aftermath) and I was planning a long juicy post for tomorrow with lots of photos (thinking I had the day off,) but I guess it will have to wait for Tuesday...

I just found out I work tomorrow too. {Poo!}

I've slept most of the day today so I'm (almost) feeling myself again.
Hang in there, I'm still alive - be back soon.

Meanwhile, enjoy this scene from the Nutcracker - I popped it in tonight while I baked cookies.

Balm to my nerves.


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Thanks Week

Another busy week down.
This week's shopping trip with Arilie (the oldest gran) on Thursday was lots of fun. Although getting her to focus on a dress was a bit of a chore. (ha ha)
She was all over the place...

She fell in love with the first dress we saw. I made her go to a couple of other places and try some other things on, but we ended up going back for that first one. (Which wasn't a bad thing at all.)
Meanwhile, I learned that she loves pillow pets, angry birds, and owls.
(Among a bazillion other things...)

We had dinner at Red Robin, which I love for the food, but it's always too noisy for conversation of any kind. She had never been there before, so all the more fun for me!
She was the last of the three to get to go, and was SO looking forward to it.
I've said it before, but I love spoiling my girlies!

Arilie and Millie in their new frocks:



Friday was Ellie's birthday, so we had a little party for her.
She was pretty excited too - she got her ears pierced for her day:


I would think that would be a traumatic experience at four years old, but I'm told she barely even flinched.

She scored some fun presents:




And had a cute cake:





Such a fun age - good times were had by all...

Speaking of prezzies, Jenny had a rough night at work the other night, so she bought herself a few... (She loves Perry the Platypus, can you tell?)



Puppy got something too:


The jury is still out on whether he likes it or not...

I received news Friday night that my nephew had a snowboarding accident and broke his neck. We rode up to see him yesterday, and thought he looked really good (considering,) very animated, obviously no paralysis - and would you believe it - chomping at the bit to get back on the slopes!

Truly miraculous.

Lastly, my sister sent me the link to this story on youtube - it talks about the McBride family, who are among my ancestors.
Nothing like seeing the suffering they went through to make you appreciate what we have now...


(Okay, having trouble loading the video, so here's the link, just in case...)
Heber Robert McBride Link

So much to be thankful for this year - with all it's trials and tribulations, still, life is good. I love my family and friends and count you all among my blessings!

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Off Day...

Days off are so rare lately - they end up not being restful days, they're more like catch up days to try to get all the household chores done. It's almost more restful to go to work any more!

I sure do miss my sedentary lifestyle, but, quoth the Raven, "Nevermore!"

...Still adjusting.

Today I'm supposed to take my other gran dress shopping after school. She's a little tricky - she doesn't really like dresses, or shopping, so this will be a different experience.
(She's still trying to figure out how to get a toy out of the deal!)

We looked online a little on Sunday, just to get an idea of what she might like, and the styles that she picked are the type that only look good on stick girls. My girlies are a little too meaty to be flattered by them.
So how do I gently steer her away from what she wants for something she will look better in?
I have no idea. I'm a little stressed about it.
I'm just hoping Jennifer wakes up in time to go with us she's good at that.

Trying to gear up for next week - it's going to be a different holiday for us. Wayland, Jennifer and I all work Thanksgiving day AND Black Friday. I've been hearing horror stories already, so I'm not looking forward to it.
Meanwhile, Melissa and Jennie are planning the bulk of the work for Thanksgiving Dinner. Probably a good thing, but you know how mom's worry - I'm such a control freak, I don't know if I can relinquish the responsibility.

We'll see.

Christmas is feeling strange too this year. Jeff & family planned a trip to Disneyland the day after Christmas, so they are not doing much in the way of gifts.
Hubby signed us on to go with them - so does that mean we don't gift either?
I'm not really sure what we're doing, and it's throwing a big knot in my planning.
I don't really want to do the big dinner and breakfast if I'm not going to be around the next day to clean it all up...
Plus, we've been hearing stories about how crowded it is down there during the holidays - so we'll spend most of our time standing in lines? Who knows?

Hubby has already hired a house sitter to guard the house (and the dog), so that's covered, but I'm not really sure I'm comfortable with that either.
It's someone he knows really well from work - I know who he is, but I know nothing about him. Do I really want a stranger living in my house for a week?
...Not really.

Oy. It's a once in a lifetime thing, and I'm sure it will be fun, but I just want a quiet peaceful holiday.

Some interesting things showed up in my house this week - a new chair, and a giant Christmas wreath. They were gifts from the guy who hubby drove to California with...
(Nightmare trip - he was supposed to earn $250 for his help, but unbeknownst to him, the guy had spent his share before they even left, so it ended up costing him instead.)

Long long story, but what it boils down to, is that they were guilt offerings to ease his hurting conscience. Hubby made it clear that they're even now (so he doesn't have to see the guy again!)

Anyway, the chair is nice, as chairs go - but it doesn't really go with anything else in our house, so what am I to do with it?
If there were two of them, I could switch out the chairs in the living room - but one just doesn't work... Like Cinderella's one shoe - it's pretty, but not practical.
My house is so crowded now, the last thing I need is more furniture!



Melissa bought some old old OLD horror movies for Halloween, and strangely they have made me nostalgic for those old classics. Going to pick up a few favorites to enjoy during the Christmas season...


LOL, computers have come a long way, right?
...And I always meant to see this one, but I never have. (The 1970's version was awful!)

...They don't show these oldies on TV anymore.

Wish I could go to bed, but got to get ready for the mall.
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27 Dresses

...Or something like that - that's how many Miss Millie tried on today.

It was time for gran-girl #2 to have a grandma day and go shopping for her Christmas dress. This young lady is very fashion conscious and has her own definite ideas of what she likes.

For this one, we headed to the mall...

As luck would have it, Jenny was free, so she came along too.
She gave suggestions, and Millie ended up choosing the dress she helped pick out for her. (An elegant little black & white number with just the right amount of bling at the neck.)
I was thankful for Jenny's input - she steered her in a good direction. She looks very pretty and so mature.

These girls are growing up so fast - I swear they've skipped 4 sizes this year!

Thursday is the oldest one's turn, and then we're done.
No surprises from Grandma this year, but the shopping experience, and the bonding thereof is part of my gift to them. I only hope it is as fun for them as it is for me!

We all went to dinner afterwards. I had originally wanted a one on one event, but I'm glad now that Jenny was along.

The girls had fun chatting about their similar interests (and grandma was too tired to be chatty!) so, she was a blessing.
It's nice to see the girls bonding with their aunt, and looking up to her for advice.

A very pleasant day.

It's getting dark really early now, so it feels like bed time way before I would normally lean that way. I'm already tucked in - with my laptop and Harry Potter on TV.
I'm ready to call it a day... and it's only 8:30!

(Jennifer has been up since Saturday night, so I'm sure she's ready to crash too.)

G'Night!
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Toyland

Yesterday ushered in the official start of Holiday shopping.

The yearly "Toy Book" is out where I work, which will be my bible for the coming weeks ahead.

Yesterday was a madhouse. I spent my entire shift trying to re-arrange and stock the Kid Connection shelves, while trying not to be impaled by all the shopping carts whizzing by.

Our department was hard-hit.
My co-worker tried to keep the area clean and orderly - a useless task.
Meanwhile, all the snow falling on the roof came dripping down in the form of murky water directly onto the Barbie aisle...

Welcome to the Holiday Season.

Someone commented to my daughter recently about her being a seasonal employee, and the chances of her staying on being marginal, and based on her performance.
I've been feeling bad for her - until I remembered - that's what they told me when I was hired too!

I had forgotten that little tid-bit of information until I was sleeping last night.
...But why wouldn't they want to keep me - I'm deaf, blind, slow, and clumsy.
I'm such a treasure! *Cough cough*

I've been taking it for granted that I'll still have a job come next year - not so.
I guess I should start saving...

Oh well, what will be will be.

I am enjoying the bigger paychecks for now.

This week, we had Ellie for the day, while her mom was an escort on a school field trip. The first thing I did was take her shopping!

I've been wanting to get all my grand girlies a new dress so they'll have something new to wear to church on Christmas day, but I want to let them choose them themselves.
(They're getting too old for grandma to pick their clothes anymore,) so I want to take each of them on a "grandma date" to achieve that.

This was an opportunity that fell right in my lap!

Ellie is such fun to shop with. We found her dress pretty quickly - she fell in love with the one I picked right off, then she was done looking.
We moved on to the shoe department, (I went to church with them a few weeks ago, and they were all wearing sandals - it's winter now, they need something warmer!)

We found some cute pink suede shoes that matched her dress - she was like Cinderella's step sister trying them on. She didn't care if they fit or not - she just wanted them - NOW!
We finally found the best fit, and she was done shopping - she just wanted to go home and put them all on to show grandpa.

I went to take a picture, but I couldn't get a good shot because she kept pulling the craziest poses - like America's Top Model... Zombie.

Exhibit A:


She's such a hoot.

Ideally, she would wait until Christmas day to wear the thing, but there's no way that's going to happen. We had a hard time even getting her to change to eat breakfast.

(She's not the only one who's impatient though, I have a closet full of fun things I've bought for her birthday - it was so hard not to pull them all out and give them to her on the spot! Only a week to go...)

Oh well, grandma's duty is done. I love spoiling my girls!

Friday after work, we zoomed down to Snow College to attend the opening of the Alumni art show.
It was fun to see our son's huge block print in real life! We have only seen it in photos until now.


His former professor (also his brother-in-law) was there, and he was strutting around like a proud papa. It must be so cool to see his former students going on and doing so well with their art! (Proud day for us too!)

What a fun night!
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Halloween 2011

I had the day off for Halloween, so Jenny and I had a girls day out.

Birthday shopping was the excuse, but who really needs a reason to shop?
(Hubby's birthday today.) We had a fun day, with lunch at our traditional stop.

The mall was a mad-house of trick or treaters - something I haven't experienced before...
We took the leisurely way home down the back roads, since it was rush hour, and had quite a pleasant drive - not much traffic there.

It was a beautiful fall day - warm and sunny (a first in ages for Halloween!)

When we got home, Melissa was there in her full Halloween regalia (office party) so Jenny dressed up and they handled the trick or treaters. Not many compared to other years.

We ordered Pizza and watched really old horror movies (we're talking Bella Lugosi)

I waited and waited for the gran-girls to come, but by 8:30 they still hadn't shown up, so I went to them.
They had already showered the and changed for bed, so I didn't get to see them dressed up. (Boo dad, what were you thinking?)

My Girls:





Sometime during the night, November crept in here and it's SNOWING to beat the band today. I have the day off again, so I'm going to hunker down and enjoy my Agatha Christie.
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As the World Turns...

Still here, but just barely.

Working hard and doing things this body hasn't done in 20 years!
I can't even look forward to the weekend - it's retail, there is no weekend.

Monday my training period will be over and I have more days off and shorter hours, so that's what's keeping me going. That, and lots of Ibuprofen!

As far as learning my department, I'm getting there.
Mastered the scanner and the printer... And once in a while I can lead people to what they're looking for. I still get the deer-in-the-headlights look at some questions, so I'm not quite there yet.

Give me time.

Discovered "shoplifting central" - it's in the Barbie aisle, of all places. Specifically, behind the Monster High dolls. I find more ripped open empty packages stuffed back behind those boxes than one would want to believe!

Getting used to the kids coming in and stirring things up, but I'm getting more and more disgruntled at the number of parents who watch them do it, and then just walk away.
Boggles the mind.

(...And yes, I secretly laugh at the geeky dads who come, unaccompanied by children, and drool over the Star Wars figures and the Matchbox cars.)

Another thing I've learned this week - if you set up ladders and carts and fill the aisle with boxes, people suddenly come out of the woodwork to try to drive through.
Sheesh. Just try to get some work done! Human nature is a weird thing.

One bright spot in the week - Elmo moved to the back room yesterday. No more mocking laughter at all passers by. The barking dogs have taken his place, but for some reason it gives me a kick to set them all off at once.

Hubby works Halloween (till midnight!) - and his birthday, but I have them off.
Go figure. I'll have to think of something nice to do for him on his break.

Life goes on - looking forward to next week, when - maybe - I'll have something more interesting to talk about than work!
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Dreamin'

*WARNING* This post is pure silliness.

I don't believe in horoscopes, but once in a while I read them just for kicks - this one made me laugh out loud - romance is not even something I think about any more.

Not that hubby isn't romantic, but it's never been the "Joni loves Chachi" kind of thing between us, it's more like a Randy Travis folk song - Grandma loves Grandpa kind of thing... (No grand gestures, it's the little daily things.)

Anyway, it read this way;

Cancer
Ready for some serious romance? You'd better be -- and from an unexpected venue, too. Someone you've thought of as nothing but a friend for possibly even years is about to hint that they'd like to change that.

Funny thing is, that night I dreamed that my dream guy (Tony Danza) swept in with his millions and took me away from it all - not in a limo, mind you, but on a camel cloaked in red velvet...
(I've been on my feet 40 hours this week and feeling very weary about having to make a living.)

So, I guess in a way, that one came true - it just didn't mention I would be asleep at the time.

And,

Last night I opted to stay at the store and buy a salad from the deli instead of driving home. (By then, the walk to the outer 40 to the car and back is not an option!) It was some vegetarian thing, not even sure what that shredded vegetable was - zucchini or something, with broccoli, raisins, onions, etc. It tasted ok, but somehow the chemical combination became lethal as the night went on - swollen tummy, and breath that could drop an elephant at 50 paces!
I was afraid to talk to customers, it was so bad...

It was so bad that even in my dreams last night, I was offending people!
There was a huge event at an amphitheater in Washington DC, Obama and Osama were going to meet together and give a speech. I just happened to be there, so I went and got an incredible seat, when who should arrive but my beautiful, stylish sister and her family. She took the seat next to me, and I said something in greeting - she frowned and told me to beat it because I stunk.

(She would never do that in real life, by the way...)

Meanwhile, the crowd was harassing the reporters and telling them to shut up and get out of the way, and I stood up for them. So they signed my shirt. Just mentioning that because one likes to know that not everyone hates them, even if it is a dream.

Anyway, dreams are tellers of the past and the future - the mirror into how we really see ourselves. But oftentimes you have to dig through the crazy to find it.

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Toy Story

...Nothing to do with the movie - it's my new "career."

One week down in the toy department, and it's been a trial by fire.
I went from working 4 hours a week to working 40 - on my feet - and they are rebelling!

I have learned a few things this week:

a) There is no such thing as a straight and orderly toy aisle - it's just like having a house full of toddlers. While you're picking things up, there is always someone following right behind you messing it up again. (job security?)

b) If you think you are buying fresh new toys off the shelf - you are wrong. Unless it is sealed tight in a box with the wrapper intact - trust me, it has been played with. (And not just by children!)

c) Adults are more destructive/disruptive than children (see above.)

d) Tweens travel in packs and do most of the mischeif.

e) Toys don't seem to be selling much right now - it seems like everything that leaves our department eventually finds it's way back.

f) Motion detecting talking toys are annoying. (...And one of these nights I will strangle Talking Elmo in his sleep!)

All in all, I guess it's been a pretty good week. Although I haven't been this tired since... before the heart surgery.
The up-side is that maybe I'll walk off a pound or two(?)

Hubby has had almost as many days off this week as I've had on. He's been the best - keeps the house clean, has lunch ready when I get home, keeps track of the kids and everyone's schedules. I keep telling him he's a better housekeeper, mother, and even wife than I've ever been. He even got up at 3 am and made Jenny her lunch! (she's working the graveyard shift.)
- I swear I don't know what he keeps me around for.

Next week will be as busy as this one, but after that, things will slow down just a bit. I will actually have a few days off here and there.

Anyone up for a foot massage?
.

Walking Away...

Yesterday was my last day at my old job.
Underwhelming to say the least. As I left, I told several people that it was nice working with them. ~ Nothing.~ No eye contact, no goodbyes, nothing.

Certainly no remorse on leaving - I don't know what I ever did to spark such indifference, but I must have done it.

I don't think I'll even go back there to shop.

I'm done.
.

Work

I started the new job this week, which is good.
I've been excited and anxious to get going, but the dragging it out made me get cold feet. I was about to tell them never mind and stay at my old job.

Wednesday was orientation, and the next two days, video training sessions.
I've got my schedule for the next couple of weeks - and it's grueling!
I've been used to only working one or two days, now it will be the opposite. Instead I will only have one day off during the week, and they are 8 hour shifts instead of the four hours that I'm used to.

Granny's going to be tired.

...But at least the paychecks will have some meat on their bones.
I've got some late nights and some early early mornings - I knew that was a possibility when applying to a place that's open 24/7. That's why I didn't apply there in the first place, but the upside is that so far I have Sundays off. (Yay!)

Jenny got called too - she'll be graveyard shift stocking groceries.
I would think that would be a killer, but those are the hours she's up anyway, so she seems unfazed.

She got a call last week for a job offer, but she had to turn it down. Fork lift maintenance for Sam's Club in SLC! (She doesn't know how to drive one, let alone repair it!)
That's what happens when you don't pay attention to which box you check when filling out online applications folks.

I'm working both jobs today (I'm hoping I'm off the schedule after this!) So it will be a long day.
There were times that I would do both - I've had up to 4 jobs at a time before, but I'm OLD now - I don't even want to try!

Better get dressed and on my way...

Ta!
.

*Mphglblp...*

I spent three grueling hours in the dentist's chair yesterday, with my mouth stretched to its limit and numbed to my eyeballs.

Today I'm still feeling the effects - feeling that my mouth has stretched halfway around my head - (picture Julia Roberts doing the platypus face on Runaway Bride here.)


I had been told my appointment was at nine, so I rolled out of bed early and rushed to get there on time, only to be told I was 45 minutes early.
The receptionist gave me the option of going home (not an option - it's 40 miles away!) ...or just hanging out on the couch.

I knew if I sat that long, I would be sound asleep in minutes - so I opted to drive across the parking lot to the mall and join the early morning "mall walkers."
...Get the blood flowing to the brain and all that. I did the whole mall twice in half an hour. I don't know if that's good, but I was impressed with myself!

In fact, I wish we lived closer to the mall for that reason. I've been meaning to start walking every day, but it's always too hot, or too cold - or rainy or windy...
The weather has been my excuse for the last two years.

No excuses needed there - no weather, no traffic - and you can just window shop as you go around.

Cool.

Sunday while the girls were here, Millie asked me to help her make some invitations for her birthday party this week.
She's going to the local beauty school for hair-dos and make up, then they're having a tea party/dress up session at home.

So we had fun for a couple of hours dragging out the paper, ribbon and die cuts and we worked assembly line style with her mom. (didn't have time to grab a photo, sorry!)

It made her day, and that's what it's all about - right?

My Sunday organists go walking every morning at 8, so I invited myself to join them - I missed the wake up call, and didn't see them when I walked around the block, so I just went by myself.

Felt a little jelly legged from all the walking (and the Novocain) from yesterday, but I made it up the hill and back down through the Maples (it's farther than it sounds!)
...But now I have to go to work and run around there for 4 hours.
Hope I can make it!

It's been a nice day so far, tried to catch up on my reading and my facebook games at the same time (my computer is so S - L - O - W that I can do that)

I'm still reading that biography of Thomas S. Monson and Abraham Lincloln, Vampire Hunter simultaneously.
The one is a buffer-zone for the other - I can only take so much violence at a time.

I'm going to have to read a real biography of Linclon when I'm done, for all the liberties the author takes re-writing history. Wow.
Not what I expected - violent, gory, and not at all funny (like I thought it would be.) ...Except for the irony of very little of it being true.


...Anyway, leaving the tracks here.

It's feeling more like November than October - mourning the fall that we will undoubtedly miss again this year.

Gotta go.
.

History in the Making

It's been an eventful day today, the ground was broken for the new temple
that is to be built here in our fair city.

I expected to be awakened by the noise of traffic and chaos, but I forgot that the church always does things in a sane and orderly manner.

All roads that led to the site were blocked off - people were directed to the different stake centers in the area and shuttled there and back, so there was plenty of parking and very few traffic tie ups.

It was a cold rainy day, so a lot of those who had tickets to the site were giving them away and opting to view the video that was streamed in to each of the chapels. We were warm and dry and comfortable in our own little church.

Jeff and his family came down to watch with us. It was so fun to share the historic occasion with our little grand girls. Something that I hope they will always remember.

Most of the dignitaries who spoke had ties to our community and shared in our excitement of getting a temple here - one lady even wore her Payson Lions blazer (although it had to be concealed under layers and layers because of the cold!)

Elder Dallin Oaks presided over the event. I wasn't aware of the fact that he actually grew up in this area. He talked with excitement about people who he knew here - people who are still in the area and are well known to most of us.

David Dahlquist led the choir (the city's most admired/feared teacher)
...and my neighbor who works at the local garden shop did all the flowers.
I was so pleased for her that Elder Oaks commented on how nice it looked. He said that it would set the new standard for all future groundbreaking podiums.

One of the first things I noticed when they left the podium to turn the soil was that the soil didn't look right.
I leaned over to Jeff and told him "that is not Payson soil - they must have imported it."
It was too smooth and rich looking. Everyone knows that Payson soil is the color and consistency of cement, and is full of rocks!

I borrowed this picture from the Deseret News website - after all the church leaders and the civic leaders had all taken their turns to turn the soil, Elder Oaks invited all the 12 year old deacons to come and take part...


How cool that the youth were able to be involved in that way!
It's exciting to know that after the year and some odd months wait, the work of building will finally begin!

Just as a side note; this song was one of the ones that was streamed in while we were waiting for the ceremony to start. I love this song, and informed my family that I want it sung at my funeral.
The Mo-Tabs probably won't be available, but my own little church choir would suit me just as well...



Speaking of funerals, we went to hubby's cousin's on Thursday. It was another cold wet day - there was even snow falling in the foothills.
The service went well - some of her closest friends spoke and sang, and I think that it was consistent with the way she would like to be remembered.

I'm really glad that I went and had that glimpse into her life. It put those needed pieces into the puzzle and made some sense of it all.

She's still someone I would like to get to know better, and I still can - through her writing.
She left behind a blog that I hadn't been aware of until after she was gone.
Family reunions will never be the same, that is for sure.

It's been a long week, feeling weary to the bone.

Good night.
.

Hump Day

Mid week again, and life rolls along...

Adjusting pretty well to hubby being home - because most of the time, he's not.
Still lots of other people for him to take care of - his mom, his brother, the neighbor down the street who is retired, and thinks that hubby should be playing all day too.

He had all that before, but also the two jobs, so it's seeming fairly normal now - I do get to see him once in a while.

We've been doing some fall cleaning around here - stirring up dust that hasn't been disturbed in years. And both of us are feeling it (allergies!)
That plus all the stuff that's in the air this time of year - Ugh, haven't had them this bad since... EVER!

Something else that is new around here - I'm realizing who the messy person in the family is. My work load has tripled since he's been home! And he actually expects more than one meal a day! ...Very unusual indeed. Life is so much simpler when it's just me. LOL

I interviewed for the new job, and was told I got it, but not much has happened since. I had to go in at 8 am on Monday morning for what I understood was going to be orientation - but after being kept waiting for half an hour, I was handed some papers and told to go have a drug test. If not done in 24 hours, I would have to wait a year to apply again!

I have never been drug tested before, and let me tell you, that is a unique (and most humiliating) experience. I never dreamed there were so many ways to "cheat" on a pee test! They practically frisked me before I went in, and I wasn't allowed to wash my hands or anything until it was done!
Sometimes I think I'm getting too old for this modern world... This stuff is just too inhumane.

I haven't heard anything back yet. My current job is looking better and better to me.

Tomorrow is that funeral in Brigham City. I've had a strange week trying to put some closure on it. Strange, uneasy dreams, disconnected thoughts - I'm beginning to feel that her suicide had to be accidental - too many pieces don't fit.
Hoping to make some sense of it there.

Saturday is the big groundbreaking for our city's temple. Was feeling shut out at first, so few tickets available - but now, I'm thinking I would much rather be in my own church house watching it on the big screen than out there fighting the mobs.
Traffic is sure to be a nightmare, and the area where it will be taking place is so small - the further away we can stay from there, the better.

It is a most historic moment, but laws of safety and civility (not to mention sanity) must still apply.

It's a work day today, and I must be on my way.

Till later.
.

October

Mixed emotions this weekend. First of all, I interviewed for a new job - and got it.
Nothing terribly exciting, I am the newest associate in the toy section at Wally-world.
But hopefully, it will be a boost in wages, and I like that it's so close to home. I won't have to travel the roads at all, so the car will be freed up for Jenny.
One step closer to getting her a life...

It's conference weekend, and I'll have to miss most of both sessions today.
Got the A.M. shift at the fabric store.
I have to give my notice today. I'm almost excited about that, but nervous too.
My tummy is a wad of knots this morning.

...Could be partially due to having lunch from the greasiest of greasy spoons yesterday.
Ugh.
I'm feeling like I'm so done with that place - anytime I eat there, I feel like I have to follow the meal with a cholesterol pill chaser!

On a sadder note, have another funeral to attend this next week.
My husband's cousin Lisa. Details are sketchy right now, and there are more questions than answers, but it appears that she checked herself into a motel, and checked herself out of life.

It's so hard to think that anyone could hurt so much that they could feel that was their only option. She had so many friends and people who depended on her - I'm hurting this weekend too, wondering if there was something I could have done or said...

Senseless loss.
.

Autumn Cooking, and Other Adventures

This week has been interesting to say the least. Having a full time hubby takes... patience.
Wednesday, we had to go switch his phone over from his former company's plan to a personal line. Sounds simple, right?

Wrong.

It was way more of a hassle than in needed to be - we ended up going to 4 different places until we found someone who could actually do it (involved "jail-breaking" from one service provider to another, setting up new plan, etc.)

The girls and I were all due for upgrades on our phones, so we did that at the same time.
Then one didn't like the color she picked, and we had to switch them around...

It was a frustrating all-day affair.

By the end of the week, we both worked, so things got back to some semblance of normalcy.

Jenny and I both applied for new jobs this weekend. I hope at least she gets it - I just hate how she's mouldering away in the basement by herself, and sleeping her life away. She SO needs something to make her feel useful and productive. Her friends are all still away at school, or married, so she has nothing anymore.

My manager is leaving to manage another store next week, so I have no qualms about looking for something else myself. I just don't make enough where I am to contribute to my family in any way.

So much for this week's vent - today, my grand daughters have parts in the program at church, so I'll be going to theirs and mine plus choir - then dinner on demand between 5 and 6 (hubby's lunch break.)

Sundays.

I hope there will be at least something resembling rest today.


I have to do New Recipe Nights every once in a while, because I get so tired of the same-old, same-old stuff.
I love the Autumn season because of all the warm and toasty comfort foods like soups& stews, all the stored up summer squashes, grilled sandwiches etc.
So, I've been busily looking up recipes for new dishes lately.

I found this recipe in last year's Taste of Home Ultimate Halloween magazine:

Sweet Potatoes and Apples au Gratin


Can't wait to serve this with my pork chops tomorrow!
(Click link for recipe)

...And I ran across this one somewhere - I can't remember where, but I found it again online:

Stuffed Baguette

It looks like something fun to try for a snack...
(I posted it here so I won't have to hunt for it again. Click on the link for the recipe)

Been trying out all kinds of panini's and planning my Halloween dinners & treats...

Ginger Snaps, mini meat pies, and I even found a recipe for pumpkin flavored Congo Bars!

*Drool*

I wonder if any of these are approved by Weight Watchers... ?
.

New Dawn

Hubby is home now, and settling in to the new routine of being unemployed.

His trip to California was an excersize in futility. He only went because he was supposed to make some money for his time, but it ended up costing him instead.
He and his travel companion butted heads the whole time - it turned out to be such a nightmare.

I'm just so glad to have him home again - I had such a bad feeling all the time he was gone. I've never prayed so hard for his safe return.

Yesterday we celebrated by going out to breakfast (our favorite thing these days.)
Today, he's trying to get used to not having a slew of emails to answer.
He mostly piddles around in the yard, while I try to get used to having him underfoot all the time. ...Curtains wide open everywhere - drives me nuts!
Like being a duck in a shooting gallery! LOL

Adjustments.

I moved the sewing machine into the living room while he was away, and have been trying to revive those old sewing skills. I made 2 pairs of P.J.'s for my girlie's Christmas yesterday, and hope to finish the third today.

It's all good - like riding a bicycle...

The weather has turned fallish, which is lovely temperature wise, but it has also kicked up the allergies to uber-drive for some reason.
Having a hard time breathing lately! Even Melissa (who is not prone to allergies) has noticed the difference. Ugh!

The other day at work, a lady came through my line and mentioned that she was on her way to her painting club. I inquired about that, and found that she belonged to the same group I was in about 20 years ago! I was so surprised to learn that they were still up and functioning.

I've been sending out emails trying to contact them - I SO need something like that to get me going again. Jen even says she wants to go with me...

That would be so cool.

I tracked down the former president, and she put me in touch with the current powers that be.

Just waiting to hear back...
.

Good Byes

Hubby's job is officially over now. Thursday was his last day.
I don't know how he's dealing with it, because he's been out of town since then.

He left from work (his second job) Thursday night to help a friend move some stuff out in California. We were supposed to go pick up his truck from the parking lot that night, but we dilly-dallied a bit...

Around midnight he called and told us to go get it ASAP! The store security had called him and told him they found it with all the doors wide open - someone had broken in to it!

We dropped everything and ran down there - but found it intact.
Nothing had been disturbed or taken from it - I guess someone had just been messing with him, but still, it was a bit of a scare.
(I had to calm baby down - she was ready to get all up in someones face for it! LOL)

Saturday, I attended the funeral of my neighbor's daughter. She was only 34, but had been bravely battling cancer for a lot of years.

She planned the funeral herself, and it was perfect - for her.
Mostly friends talking about the good times they had growing up. It might sound strange, but I've been feeling of her love and seeing her face before me all weekend.

I worked with her in Primary back in the day - she was a hellion back then, almost worse than her brothers! Having her in class was a challenge.

I worked with her again in Young Women's.
By then, she had channeled that energy a bit - she was amazingly talented at the piano, and sang like an angel. I loved listening to her - such pure sweet tones, and they always came from her heart.
She was dependable and always willing to lead out in whatever she was asked to do.
- Always with a great sense of humor.


She was the kind of girl who had an opinion about everything, and had no qualms about sharing it - but, she would just as quickly share her testimony.
It was all such an integral part of who she was.
I've never known anyone who was more comfortable and secure with her own identity, especially at such a young age. (Except maybe Brad LOL)

She became an amazing human being, and touched so many people in her short life time.
I feel honored to have known her.

I was chatting with one of my close neighbors yesterday - and we reminisced about the days when we were all young families "growing up" together.

We joked back then that one day our neighborhood would become a senior citizen community - but back then I would never have dreamed the children would start going before us.

Sharolyn was the third of our neighborhood's children who have passed from this life.
.

Off We Go...

Today is officially hubby's last day on the job.

Does he have anything else lined up?

No.

Are we scared?

Youbetcha!

Having no visible means of support is terrifying - but on the other hand, it's kind of freeing. I like entertaining thoughts that we could go anywhere we want to go now - nothing is holding us here.
It would be so nice to start fresh somewhere... All it takes is courage.

How did the old time pioneers leave everything behind and strike out across unknown territory?

They believed that there was an ultimate plan, and that something better was waiting for them.

Faith.

It's my turn to host the book club again tonight, and then it's a chick weekend for us. Hubby leaves from work to California on what we hope will be a somewhat profitable (and hopefully safe) trip.

On a sad note, one of our long time friends and neighbors lost a daughter to cancer this week. My heart goes out to them - I can't imagine anything worse than loosing a child.
.

Weekend

This weekend has been filled with ups and downs, but mostly ups.

Saturday, I went to the Scrapbook expo. with Amy.
It was a fun day of shopping and indulging in more things that I really don't need. Ha!
I didn't buy as much as I usually do, but I did find a few good bargains.
It was a super fun day!

Yesterday, the renderings of the new Payson Utah Temple are finally up on the internet:

It's much bigger and grander than I imagined!
I just learned that the ground breaking is scheduled to take place Oct. 8th - supposedly the reason for all the obnoxious road construction here in town.
We are all so excited to see the work begin!

Sorry the picture is so small, but that's the best I could do...

The weather has been so nice this week, and the evenings are starting to turn chilly.
I'm thinking we'll start seeing color on the mountain by the end of the week.

Lovin' it!
.

Labor Day Weekend

Otherwise known as Onion Days to those of us in Happy Valley.

We had a fun weekend - Saturday we were able to go watch the grans' little dancing group perform in the park after the Children's Parade...

Ellie is the cute Giraffe in the back


...And Millie got her hula on. (She's on the far right)



Monday was the perfect day. Sunny and mild - a great day for enjoying the parade.
My sister and her son (& fam.) came down to spend the day with us.

The girlies were all in the parade:

Ellie rode in the wagon... (the little blondie on the end)


Millie marched along behind. (front & center with a big smile)


Arilie was with her Martial Arts class.
(Black shirt, just above the symbol on the sign)


The happy parents (and cousin Jer - The Andrews' in the background.)


Sis & me
(Looking for all the world like Humpty-Dumpty with a thyroid condition)

Oy. I so need to hit the treadmill!


It was supposed to rain today, but it never did. Last night, the weather cooled down, so we threw open all the windows & enjoyed.

Welcome Fall!
.

Sweet September

September is here and the long HOT Summer comes to a close.

My youngest and I have a tradition each Fall where we pick the date when we think the leaves will start turning in the valley.

The loser treats the winner to ice cream!

It's been so miserably warm this year that I was going to guess the first of October, but someone flipped the Autumn switch last night - the breeze coming in my window was downright chilly!

...So I'm thinking I'll have to adjust my projection.

Labor Day is our town's big celebration.

I used to hate that it came so late in the season, but over the years, I grown to appreciate the fact that it falls when the weather is starting to cool a bit, and it's kind of nice that it ends the Summer with the biggest of BanG's.
Folks from all over the valley come to spend it with us.

It's the big final send-off to Summer... And the kick-off to Fall.

Hubby finally got the definite date for his lay-off. September 14.

He's known it was coming forever, but when it gets down to the final days, it's... well, sad, depressing, - scary.

The worst part is wondering if they are going to come through with his severance pay or not. At first they told him he would get paid through March, then they said it would come as one final pay-off.

The thing is, this company isn't really big on following through. We'll be on pins and needles until the check is actually in his hands.

If they don't come through - we're basically screwed.

Prayers and crossed fingers.

For now, trying to remain upbeat and looking forward to Fall.
.

Endings...

The end of another month - this one has been frustrating, not sorry to see it go.

The other night, hubby came home with all kinds of news. He finally got a definite ending date for his job, and it's only a few weeks away.

It scares the bejeevers out of me, but he was excited and happy. I guess I can understand that, because he's worked so hard the last few years carrying two jobs and all, and the stress in his office has been unbearable since they were bought out several years ago.
Now, he's down to the final phase, and he has to be there all day, but there is absolutely nothing for him to do!

Even though his future is all out to sea right now, he's looking forward to taking a break and letting go of all that stress...

My work is picking up - (12 hours per week instead of four - whoop-te-doo!)
I do wish I enjoyed it more.

Got to focus on finding baby a job and getting her back in school...

My oldest daughter came home with Jane Eyre last night, so we had a girlie movie night.
(After Project Runway!)
I had seen the film in the theater with my sisters a while back - I really like this version of it.




Yesterday, I had just gone down to my craft room, determined to make something fun for a change, when my daughter in law peeked around the door with her little girl in tow.

The little one had a pout on her that Paul Bunyan could trip over.

With her sisters back in school, she is adjusting to long lonely days with just her and her mom, so she had asked to come for a visit.

It took a while to get her talking - I had to ask a lot of questions to find out what she wanted to do.
Running out of ideas, I asked her if she would like to come and make a card with me. She finally perked up and started talking.

We returned to the craft room, where she started to respond to things like; "What color would you like it?" etc.

She helped me pick out materials, and I let her choose where to place them.
Soon she was happy and babbling and ready to go on with the day.

She took her card with her, but she had wanted to do some for her sisters when we ran out of time and she had to go.

She had picked out colors and papers for them, so I promised I would finish them and deliver them on Sunday when they come for dinner.

This is not at all what I intended to spend my day on, and not exactly my taste, but crafting isn't always about me...

This one is for the middle sister - she is all girly and loves color
(and sparklies and bows!)

The colors look blue here, but they are actually a deep purple...



This one is for the oldest sis. She (like her grandma) loves aqua blues.
She's not quite as girly, but she likes interesting patterns and shapes...



I don't have to worry if they'll like them - they are always excited and happy just to be thought of (I love that!)

So, until Sunday...
.

Hiatus

Been absent a while - mostly because I have nothing interesting to say.
It's been a long, uneventful Summer.

I've just been reading everything I can get my hands on to keep my mind off the heat.

I tried to post some pictures of my little grans who were in a parade in the community South of here, but every time I try to do that, the computer finds fresh problems for me.

Their little dance troupe had a float in the parade - it's always so fun when they invite us to come.
I've lived in this area for 30 + years, and never attended that celebration.
The girls were so focused and cute. Fun!

The family went camping last week - I was supposed to be there, I was also supposed to go up North to visit my sister for her birthday - and I had a wedding I was supposed to attend here.

I didn't make it to any of them because I had to work.

For this job that only gives me one or two shifts per week, how is it they still manage to screw up all my plans?

Frustrating.

Tonight we went up to see the grans again. School starts tomorrow here, so they got all their new school clothes out to show us. That is so much fun!

That's what I'm missing this year - I have nobody here at home to get ready to go to school. (Yes, my son is still in school, but he's two states away!)

I have always loved the anticipation of new beginnings that a new school year brings - so it was nice of the girls to share that with us.

I decided to walk home from their place - it seemed like a good idea at the time, but it was darker than I realized, and it was a bit creepy!
My street is the worst - the street lights don't help a bit here. I'm going to have to complain to the mayor.

Hubby's job is starting to wind down now. He got the email Friday that he's supposed to start training someone to take over for him. He thinks that in a few weeks, it will be over.

They've been planning this for over a year, but have kept dragging it out.
This time I think they mean it.
We're starting to get nervous about what's coming next. It's not a great time to be looking for a job, much less a new career!

Scary times.

It's beginning to feel like Autumn out there, even though we're several weeks early for that.

Time flies.

Last night was spent enjoying Shakespeare with my girls...


...A little Midsummer madness.

Sweet!
.

Trudging Forward...

This week has been a difficult one, kind of felt like jogging waist deep in mud.
But I've been forcing myself to keep moving forward - trying to make some progress.

As I mentioned, I've been reading Kelly Rae Roberts book Taking Flight this month. Trying to jump-start my psyche and get it back in gear.
She talks about starting an art journal, to keep track of favorite quotes, color schemes, recipes - what have you.

Anything that uplifts and inspires.

I like that idea - I'm always using all my free time to search for pictures I know I've seen ...somewhere, or remember those great ideas I had that I can't seem to remember now...

Sure would be nice to have those all in one place.

Coincidentally, I saw this ad posted on Facebook at the same time:



I was inspired enough to make my own...



The project in the book was a complicated painted piece - and was supposed to include some kind of face, but that's just not me.

I decided to go this route.
I may add paint ...later, and I may not. I haven't decided yet, but this is where I'll start storing all those little pieces of inspiration that I don't want to lose.

Gotta get me one of those cool glue stick/pen things though - those are the bomb!
.

Spiraling Downward...

I've been doing a lot of that soul searching stuff this week -
and I've had a number of epiphanies.

It's gone something like this:

Epiphany #
1 - Start anywhere to get a foot in the door
2 - Use old techniques with a new twist
3 - Stick to what you know
4 - Just let it go and let the younger generation take over...
5 - Find a full time day job.

Sorry if the details are sketchy - it probably only makes sense to me, but basically, thoughts (fantasies?) of getting creative are losing out.

It's probably just more of those fears raising their ugly heads, but it's also the practical side of me speaking up - my main goal is to supplement the family income somehow, so in that case, why go the slow painful route when I could just look for full time work?

Rethinking the blog too - getting too personal - too raw.

Emotionally speaking, it's been a tough week.
.

Hump Day Reveries

I'm a bit down in the chops today, so I'm having a hard time getting over the bumps, but I shall persevere.
(Mostly because I have to - today is a work day.)

Today's topic is Finding a Supportive Community.

This is a weird one for me, because my needs change so radically depending on where I'm at at the time.

A few years ago, I surrounded myself with the fun crazy ladies on the Scrapbooking forums. I stayed there for years chatting and laughing, until one day I realized - I don't really scrapbook anymore.
I wasn't really there for the crafting - I was just there for the camaraderie.
I started feeling like a fraud - like an intruder, so I moved on.
(Thankfully, some of those friends followed me - to facebook.)

I do have my facebook account, but if you're looking for encouragement and support - that's really not the place to find it.
(Unless you're addicted to games. *cough*)
Too many different interests and opinions...

My problem is; I'm not sure who I am right now.
I'm at a point where I'm so tightly wrapped in my cocoon, trying to metamorphose into ...something else.
I'm feeling extra vulnerable, and not willing to open myself up too much just yet.

It's funny where you find support sometimes - right now, I'm finding it (besides on the blog) with my sweet little grand daughters.
They love crafting (and their mom really doesn't enjoy it much,) so they come over here to "play" with grandma.

I love their Oooh's and Ahhh's and "that's so cool - can I try?"

What could bolster the self esteem more than... well, unconditional love?
They give me all the positive feed back I need, and I love sharing what I know with them.

My little Millie even wants me to sew for her. How cool is that?
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Step Two

Overcoming Fear

Fear has been the bugaboo of my entire life.

All the way back in grade school, if I won accolades for something artistic - after the obvious thrill of winning, I would immediately be stung by the fear that "now people are going to notice me."

The same fear followed me to college, where after a year and a half, I finally got brave enough to enroll in an art class. The first day of classes, after struggling just to find the room, I stood outside with my hand on the door for a good 15 minutes before I lost my nerve completely and marched over to the administration building - to drop it.

Years later, I started working for Provo Craft.
I had taken up tole painting, and had taken my skills to a level where I could teach, and even be on the team who painted samples for store owners to display along with the books that PC published.
My dream then was to become a designer, and publish my own work!

I played with designs, created and polished - until I finally had something I was proud of - mustered up all my courage, and took it to the class coordinator for her professional opinion.
She loved them. She said that she wanted to schedule a class to teach them!

I was within centimeters of achieving my dream - so what did I do?

I had a panic attack - took them home and never spoke of it again.

I. Am. Pathetic.

So there you have it - conquering fear is a BIGGIE for me.

My current artsy guru says that:

"When we delay our creative yearnings, we, in essence live in a world of procrastinating our creative truth because we are afraid of it."

And gives this advice:

"Instead of staying clear of your fears, face them. Sit down with them a while.
Ask them questions. And ask yourself what you're afraid of, what's holding you back...'
Once you're able to identify your fears, you have a much better chance of diffusing them.
Then, ... make a list of affirmations or direct responses to each of your fears...
Soon, you'll have your own list of personal declarations from your heart to help battle your fears."

We shall see.

By the way, the book I'm reading is "Taking Flight" by Kelly Rae Roberts.







Ain't no sunshine when he's gone.

As a side note, we are having the weirdest weather year ever.
Longest winter, soggiest, albeit shortest Summer ever.
I don't remember ever having as much rain as we are having.
This morning, the breeze that came in my window woke me with a shock.
That weren't no Summer breeze! ...It felt very Autumnal!

Meanwhile, every time we talk to our son in Seattle (the rainy capitol of the world) he says "it's Sunny and mild."
Something has gone amiss with the universe. If I didn't know better, I would think our sunshine followed him up there, and he sent us the rain.
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