December 4

Holiday Stress

There is never a good time for a funeral, but during the holidays it seems to be extra stressful.

Hubby and DD have had extra time off, and have been under foot and undermining my regular routine while I'm trying to bring some order to the house, or they are gone and leaving me feeling anxious and feeling like I should do something to help, but not really knowing what.

Christmas planning has been put on hold.

We've been going nuts trying to find a copy of a song that hubby wants sung.
We have called or shopped every music store in the state it seems, and we get the same story from all of them - "We had that in stock, but we sold out yesterday."

...I'm beginning to think that grandpa doesn't like that song and is putting the kibosh on it.

On top of everything else, a member of the bishop-rick came by the other night, (the night Oral passed away, in fact,) and asked have I done this for the music, and did I get so-and-so to come and sing - and when can he be here...

It's a small thing, I know, and something I have been working on, but at that moment it just pushed me right over the edge. I have been a basket case ever since feeling the pressure of it all.

I'm so behind on the house because every time I go to do dishes or something, someone wants me to run here, or call someone, so before you know it - I have dishes in the sink from last Thursday...

While I was making dinner the other night, I had this fantasy of turning on the Nutcracker ballet, and dipping chocolates in my frilly apron and pearl necklace.

...Just so you know, that is not me - that has never been me, but it was such a comforting thought at the time.

Gathering day today - getting everyone home.
Melissa went to pick up Jenny from school, and Brad will fly in tonight.
It's the end of the term for both, and the timing couldn't be worse for them, but we don't get to have a say in these things, do we?

My neighbor helped the family write a dialog for the funeral until 1 am last night. I read through it this morning, and it is so nice.
It will be a great tribute.

I've been wanting to tell the family, but haven't found the right moment yet, what a great example Oral was to my dad.
It wasn't until he met him that he realized what a father could be - and he tried so hard to be better afterwards. I'm really grateful for him too, he made hubby the person that he is, and he gave me my dad.

"In the bleak mid-winter
Frosty wind made moan,
Earth stood hard as iron,
Water like a stone;
Snow had fallen, snow on snow,
Snow on snow,
In the bleak mid-winter,
Long ago."
- Christmas Carol
.

P.S. Just in case you might want to know, I've been getting the December quotes from a site called December, Compiled by Michael P. Garofalo, Valley Spirit Center, Red Bluff, California.
Awesome - I love it.