Dang.

...Please pardon my language, but that's what my day has boiled down to.

I've been trying all day just to find 10 minutes to blog,
(and I really did have some nice things to say - really!)
But it has just been one thing after another all day, until any positive feelings I had have blown away with the wind.

I'm feeling so frustrated tonight.

I had a bit of an epiphany during the week, and I have been so excited about it that I didn't even sleep for 24 hours.
I sketched and made lists, planned and researched - only to hit a brick wall this weekend.
Turns out I'm not going to have a spare minute (or a spare penny) to do anything on my list - at least for the time being.

Bleah.

I've stifled and locked away my creative urges for the last 18 years, (ever since my youngest was born,) believing that one day my "time and season" would come.
With her moving out last week, it felt like just maybe my time had come - so I opened that locked cage and took a peek - yup, they were still in there, and crazy wild to be free.
...But alas, it is still not to be.
(It just seems like an awfully long time to be patient. I'd like to use my talents before I lose all my faculties!)

Thankfully, I'm not bitter. (LOL)

...The day wasn't a total loss, however.

I drove my daughter back to her little college town this afternoon.
Usually, I dread the drive back because I'm alone and it's an hour drive through narrow winding roads, and unpredictable traffic.
(You would think country folk would like to meander - but not so. They are speed demons who like to ride your bumper and breathe down your neck!)

...I digress...

Today, the drive back was surprisingly peaceful.
I brought my favorite book on CD, (which takes place in a small town in the country,) and it was so pleasant listening to it with fields of ripe grain, herds of sheep and mountains as a back-drop.

The late afternoon sun cast long shadows on the barren hills, softening the harsh edges and making them appear as mounds of draped fabric.
There is the slightest sensation of fall in the air now, and it made me actually long for future drives when the leaves in the canyon have started to turn.
For once, I wanted the drive to last a little longer before having to deal with the chaos of home.
I think I may just insist on going by myself from here on out - at least until the snow flies.

I'm hoping this week goes by quickly, and praying for health for the in-laws and safe travels for all my children.
.