Ebb & Flow

This month is stacking up to be a bit confusing.

I've had moments of such creative energy that I can hardly contain myself
- A feeling that I haven't experienced in almost 20 years.

After the birth of my youngest "caboose" child, I put all my arts & crafts supplies away for that time & season that would surely come again - and concentrated on raising her along with a house-full of preteens.

*Don't try this at home*

(The effect of baby-teen mothering is much like driving a car using only first and fifth gears. Jarring.)

I never regretted that last child - she has been a gift. I have enjoyed every minute of her existence. I did miss my "art," but I always believed that there would be a time for that again someday.

Recently, I have been feeling the creative urges resurfacing.
I get such a flow of ideas, that I can't even go to bed at night.
I've been filling notebooks and daydreaming for weeks of new/old areas to explore and resurrect.

...Then there are the days (like today) when I'm physically, (+ mentally and emotionally)...tired.

I fill with self-doubt and wonder what the heck is wrong with me?
Sure, I want to do all this stuff, but can I even remember how to do it?
Will I ever be able to do it as well as I once did?

What am I - NUTS?

I spent the day (and my last paycheck) buying supplies yesterday. I intend to follow through, but I wish I was more sure that success will follow...

Stay tuned.
.