On Motherhood...

I wrote a silly commentary on my own experience in mothering this morning, but have since re-thought it.

I am so much better at sarcastic "tongue-in-cheek" (or foot-in-mouth) than I am at "heart-on-sleeve". But those type of comments are really un-worthy for mother's day.
The truth is that my mom is not here to be celebrated any more, and it still hurts to think about her.

My mom truly cherished her role as mother. One would have to to be willing to bring 10 souls into this world! At times I have wondered how she managed to learn this role so well, seeing as how she lost her own dear mother at the tender age of 12. It must have been very difficult.

Whenever I think of her, I see her doing things - sewing dresses, making bread, herding cub scouts, leading music in Primary - she was always busily "doing" and "caring" for all of us.
She was so much fun to be with, and had a way of making each and every one of us feel that we were her "favorite".
I know that I always felt that I had a special bond with her, because I had so many of the same interests, and I loved to go places - any place with her.
At an early age, I became her "designated partner" for funerals and weddings, because my dad was often too busy and not able to go with her.

She encouraged us to develop and use our talents - music, art, homemaking skills, etc. My sister and I were taught to sing parts at a very early age, and sang together at many church and family activities. (This was a mixed blessing, as I was chronically shy, and terrified of performing in front of crowds - and mom often made us matching outfits to wear, which was sometimes a little embarrassing.)

Later, as I entered the dreaded dating years, mom served as "buffer" between me, the rebellious teen, and my very strict father.
(I still owe her for that!)

I recently found a stack of letters that she wrote to me when I was away at college, and in almost every one, she had slipped me $5.00 here, and $10.00 there, so that I could have not only the things I needed, but a little fun too. After a year, I transferred to a college closer to home, and my journal has many entries where she had come and picked me up and taken me shopping or to lunch. She was always mindful of me.

I was so blessed to live near her after I was married and raising a family of my own - she was always there to help with each baby that was born. When I was expecting my second baby, she knew how badly I wanted a little girl - she was there at the hospital for the birth, and as soon as she learned that it indeed was a girl, she ran right home and whipped up a lacy pink quilt - and had it finished for me to bring her home in the next day!

She was such a sweet grandmother to the kids, and they loved to go and visit her because they knew that there would always be ice cream and chocolate cake!

Many years later, after my dad passed away, she was unbearably lonely and restless until my younger sister and her sons moved in with her. Mom had two little boys in the house to give her love to, and she was content again - being a mother - for the rest of her days.

No matter how many years I occupy this earth, I will never accomplish all the things that she did in her too short time here, nor will I ever be able to make up for all the thoughtless and inconsiderate things that children often put their parents through.

Thanks for allowing me to share -
Happy Mother's Day.