Last night, I ran across an article I had clipped from an old CK (yes, I'm still cleaning that room. Oh Honey, this will go on for days!) The title of the article was "Generations of Love" and talks about chronicaling children with their grandparents. As I picked it up, a feeling of...guilt?...remorse?...I'm not sure, just that feeling you get when you know you missed out on an opprtunity that will never come again.
When my mom was in the hospital, one day I was there visiting when my son and his family came in to visit also. One of the nurses came in during our visit, and after inquiring of my mom who we were, she said "Oh - 4 generations!" The thought occurred to me then that I should try to get a picture of this before it was too late (you see, mom was dying of bone cancer) but I struggled with whether that was the right thing to do or not. Mom was not a vain person, but she always took pride in how she looked, and she was not at her best here in the hospital, with little chance of things improving. There was that whole issue of "is this how she would like to be remembered?" There are cultures who believe that if you take a person's photo - you steal their soul, but can there also be times when by taking their photo, you steal their dignity?
So I continued to struggle, and she continued to decline, antd the photo never got taken.
It would have been nice to show that photo to my grandaughter, and tell her how much her great grandma loved her, and when she had struggles with her memory, and didn't recognize some people who came to visit, she still always remembered her.
Sorry, not the happiest of posts - but this is where my mind has wandered to today.
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